Those people who constantly reblog your stuff but you never really talk:
I do notice my regulars. You guys are the best.
“Regulars” makes me feel like a bar-tender…
Wiping down my dash at the end of an evening, I see your read-more, over-hear your rant in the tags, so I pour you a drink.
“…what’s troubling you, kid?”
It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday As the regular crowd tumbls by There’s an old fandom queen blogging next to me And her little gray tags catch my eye
She says tumblr I’m feeling like shit today can you send me some posts for a smile can we talk about slash, can you fill up my dash so I won’t have to think for a while
Laa dahdah didee dah La dahdah didee dah dadum
Fill up my dash, you’re my followers Fill it with pictures and fic Yeah we’re all in the mood for some memery And occasional pictures of dick
Now Jill is a centaur novelist And she writes of her girlfriend and wife She reblogs from Toni, who’s in My Little Pony, And probably will be for life.
As the staff implements wretched changes And we think of how aliens bone We are writing a lot about loneliess: It’s much better than writing alone.
Yep, I saw it and kinda rolled my eyes because that OP is
clearly reacting to a telephone-chain of bad information that antis like to put
out to taint everything Brubaker did with Natasha (therefore tainting all thing
BuckyNat) in the minds of new fans.
Despite what some people may try to claim, Brubaker did not
retcon Natasha’s backstory out of thin air just to make her Bucky girlfriend. Before
Brubaker ever got to write Captain America, Natasha already had two different
backstories – the Cold War spy (who may be much much older than she looks) backstory and the murder orphanage
backstory. As with all things Natasha, FYBW has an in-depth write-up [Secret Origins Part
1] [Secret
Origins Part 2] [Secret
Origins Part 3] that I highly recommend reading, but here is a quick
explanation:
Backstory 1, a.k.a.
the Cold War spy backstory: So way back in 1972 (when Brubaker was all of
six years old btw), Daredevil #88 laid out the groundwork for the Natasha
backstory we know today – she was a war orphan that Ivan had rescued in
Stalingrad, who chooses to join the KGB/becomes a Cold War spy and who later
decided to defect and eventually become a superhero. Daredevil #88 came out
about thirty years after the war, so the timeline made perfect sense. However,
as we got further and further away from WWII, things got a little weirder.
That’s when Uncanny X-Men #268 shows up in 1990. UXM #268 tells how Logan and Steve and Natasha first met in WWII:
While ignoring some of the specific details of DD #88’s timeline, UXM #268 doubles down on Natasha’s connection to WWII and is the first to suggest (but fails to explain) that Natasha is not as young as she appears to be:
The writer, Chris Claremont, left the book
shortly after UXM #268, so he never went into more detail/gave any explanations
for Natasha’s age. So it and the Cold War origins became a hanging plotline
that more and more writers choose to ignore the further we got from the end of
the Cold War and the dissolution of the Soviet Union. (Sidenote: The Red Room
entered into the Black Widow mythos in 1999 with the introduction of Yelena Bolova.)
Which brings us to…
Backstory 2, a.k.a.
the murder orphanage recon: 2004 was the year Marvel inflicted Richard Morgan onto Natasha, and he inflicted his murder orphanage recon onto all of us.
Morgan set out to tell a story about why sexism bad and proceeded to do so in
the most mansplainy way ever with the added bonus of removing all of
Natasha’s agency from her entire life. No longer did Natasha decide to join the
KGB and become a spy. Nope, instead she grew up in the 1970s in a murder
orphanage designed to produce perfect little spies. No longer did Natasha
choose to deflect from the Soviet Union and become an Avenger. Nope, instead
Nick Fury used special pheromone perfume that forced Natasha to do what he
wanted. Seriously. (Keep that in mind next time these people try to claim that
Brubaker reconned Natasha’s history just for Bucky’s dick. Because what they’re
trying to do is convince people a gross AU recon from a decade ago is Natasha’s
‘real’ origin story.)
SO!
Moving on to 2007 and Ed Brubaker’s run on Captain America. In an interview following the release of Captain America #27, he states:
In the Winter Soldier origin issue, which is in my second
Cap trade, we show the history and the timeline, and in the late ‘50s and
early ‘60s he was deep in Department X. That was an actual Soviet special section
during the Cold War, where they did their experimental stuff, like brainwashing
and the like. So, when I was researching it, it occurred to me that the Red
Room program would have been attached to Department X, and that if the Black
Widow was being trained in the late ‘50s and early ‘60s, they probably met. [X]
Brubaker either didn’t know about or actively chose to ignore a three-year-old recon, and decided to go back to Backstory 1 because
it worked with the story he was trying to tell. The only thing he actually
reconned was the ‘fact’ Natasha had a secret relationship with the Winter
Soldier for a short time in the late 1950s. So basically all Brubaker did was bring the unaging Cold War spy backstory back into play (with a tiny extra dash of tragic romance), which was then followed by Cornell and Liu who each filled in details and
shaped it into the backstory we know today.
Minor nitpick: Brubaker was very aware of Morgan’s stories and used them a lot to inform his version of the Red Room— he was also aware of Uncanny #268 and saw it as canon as well. This actually mirrored the timeline set up around the same time in Wolverine Origins, so it might have been the editorial direction Marvel had decided on instead of Ed Brubaker, who was never really all-powerful arbiter of everything that happened to Natasha anyway.
Anyway, Brubaker used and updated a lot of old continuity relating to Silver and Bronze Age Soviets: his stuff with Karpov and Department X touched on the Red Guardian mythos, the fourth Crimson Dynamo, Red Ghost and the Super Apes (!), and even featured a random cameo by Ursa Major so Bucky could fight a bear in a moody Russian gulag. This is a normal thing that happens in comics, not a specific violence against Natasha, and it’s not an indictment on Natasha’s ability to stand on her own, because no one lives that way in the Marvel Universe. Natasha would be much worse off as a character if her past and relationships were treated as sacred and unmovable.
Thank you for the nitpick – with comic book writers it’s not always easy to tell what they’re ignoring vs. what they’re actually aware of, so I was trying to hedge my bets. And I agree the timing of the Way stuff does suggest a move by Marvel or at the very least some sort of (very) rough coordination by the editorial teams. If not, it’s a hell of a coincidence.
…but you did forget one important fact: Bucky got to fight a bear in a moody Russian gulag shirtless. :3
Yet another reason I’m sad Terry Pratchett is dead is because I just know that the Discworld novel he would have written in response to recent developments in Britain and the world would be fucking scathing.
“A small but growing number of people believe we should magically summon a new world turtle and place Ankh-Morpork on its back in order to leave the Disc entirely, sir.”
“Intriguing.”
“It can’t be done, sir. Especially not the…” Drumknott consulted his paperwork. “…bit where, and I quote, Obviously we’ll leave all the foreigners behind. They seem divided on the precise definition of foreigner but it seems to include anyone who doesn’t look like them, and most people who do look like them but speak funny.”
“Ah, we’ve reached that part, where we define foreigner so we know who to give the boot to,” Vetinari sighed.
“It’s obviously not really plausible, sir, we’d lose a lot of good trade routes if there were no longer any external portions of the Disc attached to us, and having consulted with the alchemists there’s a strong sense among them that we would shortly run out of air to breathe should we leave the Disc’s protective weather systems.”
“Ah, but they can vote on it, you see,” Vetinari said. “They can campaign for it. And just knowing we ought to do it…”
He pulled a report across his desk, one in the crabbed, unmistakable schoolboy handwriting of Sir Samuel. “Crime is up, Drumknott.”
“I wasn’t aware we’d increased the Thieves’ Guild allotments this month, sir.”
“We haven’t. Nor the Assassins’ Guild. Unfortunately the crimes on the rise are of the go-back-where-you-came-from variety and there is, as of yet, no Bigots’ guild.”
“Do you think creating one would stop them, sir?”
“Not in this case, no,” Vetinari murmured. “I suspect we shall have to leave it up to human decency and the efforts of the Watch.”
Drumknott gave him the most horrified look he’d seen since the first time he suggested promoting Sir Samuel.
“Not really, sir?”
“Of course not. Good lord, Drumknott. I shall have some errands for you today, however, and you’d best fetch the Commander. And Mr. De Worde. Get De Worde here first, then bring in Sir Samuel when he’s had just enough time to get nervous in the waiting room. If Sir Samuel is at home, do bring her Ladyship along, otherwise I’ll see her at the dinner tomorrow night. Ah yes, and I believe I shall pay a visit to Mr. Von Lipwig tomorrow afternoon; please notify him of the impending surprise inspection of the mint.”
“But sir, what will you – “
“That will be all, Drumknott,” Vetinari said.
In the crevices of Vetinari’s mind, gears began to turn. Disorder, of course, was a natural aspect of any city, but unpleasantness of this sort led to much too much and the wrong kind of disorder. After all, at one time Ankh-Morpork had simply been a swampy plain; trace a family back far enough and everyone was an immigrant. The kind of thinking that led to one saying they were taking their city and leaving sooner or later led to metaphorical shoving matches over who looked a little too igneous to be allowed, or whose mother sent funny food with them to school, or who exactly was allowed to wear what kind of cloth on their head.
And the whole thing, as he knew from personal experience, could very well lead to unpleasantly large dragons.
Perhaps it was time to set some spinning tops in motion.
Fluff rice with a fork, never stir it with a spoon.
Vaseline is the best night time eye cream on the market.
You can buy alcohol and chips with your parents’ gas station credit cards.
If you force something, you’ll break it. That could be good or bad.
It’s important to read the care tags on your clothing and follow those instructions.
Related: don’t wash and dry j. crew wool sweaters.
Changing your car’s oil is not optional.
Whatever physical objects you acquire you will one day have to put into a box and move.
You’re allowed to disagree with negative feedback.
It’s always worth reading the instruction manual.
Nostalgia, like any drug, can be a poison or a remedy.
Pets are like human friends but better in every conceivable way.
Good doctors listen more than they talk.
You can’t fix a burned roux.
Floss.
Just because someone is an authority figure does not mean they are intelligent/competent/right.
Measure twice, cut once.
Get your nice jeans and dress pants tailored by a professional.
If you’re uncomfortable wearing it you will not look good.
You’re not required to drink alcohol while in a bar.
There are a few things that cure all ills: the beach, your favorite album on vinyl, and fresh garlic.
Kindness is not weakness.
Baking soda is not baking powder.
Taking Excedrin P.M. while still in public is not advisable.
Terrible people will succeed. Wonderful people will fail. The world is not fair.
Appropriate footwear is always key.
You can absolutely be too forgiving.
Real humor punches up, not down.
Reading the assigned chapters will actually help you learn the material.
There are no adults. Everyone is as clueless as you are.
Applying eyeliner well is a timeless art.
You can always leave. Awkward dates, suffocating jobs, hometowns that you outgrow, relationships that aren’t growing in the right direction.
You can always come home again.
But it won’t be the same.
Life is too short for bad books, boring movies, shitty people, and margarine.
Never underestimate the importance of eyebrows.
A few years ago, when I was living in the housing co-op and looking for a quick cookie recipe, I came across a blog post for something called “Norwegian Christmas butter squares.” I’d never found anything like it before: it created rich, buttery and chewy cookies, like a vastly superior version of the holiday sugar cookies I’d eaten growing up. About a year ago I went looking for the recipe again, and failed to find it. The blog had been taken down, and it sent me into momentary panic.
Luckily, I remembered enough to find it on the Wayback Machine, and quickly copied it into a file that I’ve saved ever since. I probably make these cookies about once a month, and they last about five days around my voracious husband – they’re fantastic with a cup of bitter coffee or tea. I’m skeptical that there is something distinctively Norwegian about these cookies, but they do seem like the perfect thing to eat on a cold day.
Norwegian Christmas Butter Squares
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 egg 1 cup sugar 2 cups flour 1 tsp vanilla ½ tsp salt Turbinado/ Raw Sugar for dusting
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Chill a 9×13″ baking pan in the freezer. Do not grease the pan.
Using a mixer, blend the butter, egg, sugar, and salt together until it is creamy. Add the flour and vanilla and mix using your hands until the mixture holds together in large clumps. If it seems overly soft, add a little extra flour.
Using your hands, press the dough out onto the chilled and ungreased baking sheet until it is even and ¼ inch thick. Dust the top of the cookies evenly with raw sugar.
Bake at 400 degrees until the edges turn a golden brown, about 12-15 minutes. Remove from the oven. Let cool for about five minutes before cutting the cooked dough into squares. Remove the squares from the warm pan using a spatula.
kototyph 