
Month: June 2017

Every time I recommend Discworld to someone, I get asked “where should I start?” There are several reading order guides floating around the internet, but they just give the order of each series, they don’t give you any information on which to base a choice of starter novel. For that, use this handy
(and very biased, okay, I admit it)flow chart!This is lovely.
I hate when people who are new to a fandom/ship ask for fic recs and are IMMEDIATELY shut down by someone snarkily saying “Just go to AO3 and search then filter by kudos duhhhhhh 🙄”
Because that’s a fucking stupid way to find good fic.
Because sometimes, the most kudo’d fics??? Aren’t the best fics. Or even the most in character or canon-compliant. They’re just the fics that have been around the longest, that were written while the fandom was still young and the show new and these are the “fandom favorites” but they may not be all that great.
I want the fic that has half those kudos but spot on characterization that I wouldn’t find by searching for the “most kudos”. I want the fic that hasn’t gotten that much love and you’re screaming by the time you get done because holy shit!!! What an amazing fic!!! I want to hear what someone else liked and why. I want to take the path less traveled when it comes to fic because that is new and exciting and a breath of fresh air and a new take that, unfortunately, no one reads because when people look for fic, they go by kudos.
So yeah. Rant over.
Also annoying when people make rec lists that might as well just be a list of the top 10 most-kudos’d fics, and every single rec list looks exactly the same.
If you’re going to bother with a rec list, either go with a specific theme (not just a pairing, especially if that pairing has more than like 1000 fics for it) or try to rec stuff that you think deserves way more kudos/hits than it already has.
And as for just browsing in AO3, I like to pick a kudos threshold (500, 1000, whatever – type “kudos>500” or whatever in the “search within results” box) and sort by date posted. That way you see the stuff that didn’t just spend three years slowly accumulating kudos by virtue of existing, it burst onto the scene and people loved it so much it shot to the top. Either that, or I look for stuff with not many hits but a good number of kudos per hit – so, say, (for zimbits, which has a higher kudos/hit ratio than Sherlock or SPN, so you’d have to adjust for those fandoms) “hits<2000 kudos>300” to find stuff that hasn’t gotten much attention, but the people who did read it liked it.
AO3 searching tips! ❤
Captain America: Civil War – the We Are All Rational Adults Version
(The more I think about Civil War the more annoyed I get)
Tony: okay so
these AccordsTony: obviously
the fact we’ve only just heard of them and they’re being signed in 3 days and
they’re fatter than all of us is some shitSteve: language
Tony: but the
fact is, we can’t just run around wherever we want punching people that we
personally decide are bad guysTony: countries
have the right to make their own laws and we can’t just ignore them because
we’re really coolTony: (though we
are)Tony: anyway the
fact is nobody actually voted for you to be President of Avengerdonia, steve,
so we should like, obey the people we elected, like everyone else in the world
does, this is how democracy worksSam: i would vote
for steveSteve: i will be
honest hereSteve: i have
very much enjoyed being in charge with no restrictionsSteve: it has
been very efficient and we’ve saved loads of lives (like loads)Steve: however as
i am not in fact a massive jerkhole dictator and i do believe in democracySteve: you are of
course right we should get the nod from the government before we crash in
anywhere to save the day, as long as that can be done quickly and effectively,
and won’t mean that i’m completely banned from saving peopleSteve: (because i
have zero impulse control when it comes to saving people i just do it)Tony: oh we know
Sam: everyone
else would vote for steve too right natasha you’d vote for steveNatasha: no comment
Steve: i mean
there are a couple of other things i want to talk about in these papersWanda: like the
fact we’re not actually accountable for the actions of all supervillains
everywhere?Steve: yeah and
the fact that it doesn’t specify that we can’t be thrown in a monstrous sea-jail
without a trial or lawyers if we damage property while defending ourselvesTony: wow steve
we’re (mostly) US citizens do you really think we need to specify that?Steve: i’ve read
about rossSteve: yes we do
Tony: okay then,
how about we sit here and hash out our list of amendments and caveats, which
they really should have consulted us about more than three days before they
meet to sign this document that controls our lives, and we take our improved
accords to vienna and talk about it there?Steve: that
sounds really sensibleSam: wanda you
vote for steve too rightBucky: i do not
vote for steve. i vote for anyone except steve. i vote for tony stank’s left
shoe, because it is far less reckless than steveSam: dude you’re
not even in this part of the movie yetBucky: i showed
up early just to say don’t vote for steveTony: holy shit it’s
the winter soldierBucky: ooooh steve
doesn’t like that kind of language you knowSteve: go away
and wait for your appropriate plot hook barnes what is thisfin
Every part of this but especially the last bit.
*SNORT*

i’m trying to write first-person past tense for the first time since, like, the bad old HP days and ffs Actual Published Books why do you have to be like this
*griffin mcelroy voice* that good good panther boy
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so, um. if you have any particular feelings about labyrinth–specifically Sarah–uh, go wild.
WILD PEACHES [AO3]
.
The morning after Sarah Williams defeats the Goblin King, she gets up and makes toast. She has to brush some glitter off the toaster—it withers and vanishes at the brush of her fingertips, and she stares at her hand for a long time.
It mostly just looks like her hand. Even when she turns it over, and sees where she scraped her knuckles against the oubliette, where the shattered mirror cut the back of her wrist. It looks like she fell, or was playing in the street. That’s all.
The toast comes out burned, and Sarah stares at that too. Eventually, she slumps down against the cabinets and cries, wracking sobs that send her dad and Karen rushing into kitchen. They check her forehead for a fever, put their hands on her, and keep asking, “Are you okay? Sarah, please, tell us what’s wrong…”
Eventually, her dad drags her into his lap and cradles her against his chest, like he did when she was little. Her legs are too long to really fit anymore, but Sarah hugs him around the neck anyway. “It’ll be okay,” he says, keeps saying. “You’ll be okay.” And Sarah—doesn’t laugh, because she can’t, and doesn’t have the words to express what—how—
(None of her stories ever talked about this. What did Sir George do, the morning after he slayed the last dragon in England? Did Tam Lin eat breakfast, or did he sit there, shivering, wondering if his hands were different, having been claws and wings and scales?)
Afterwards, she leaves the burnt toast outside on the back porch. Not an offering. Maybe a reminder.
.
It’s Didymus she sees the most often, mostly because he’s the one who invites himself rather than waiting for an invitation. He comes for tea, but even if there’s no tea—which there isn’t, usually—he comes to tell Sarah stories. She learns to love poetry because there’s no escaping it with him. (She won’t read Idylls of the King until Brit Lit in college, but she ends up scrawling a lot in the margins; Didymus’ telling of events had been much more interesting.)
Once, she falls asleep like that, her hands tucked behind her head with Didymus curled up and sleepily reciting from the crook of her elbow. “So tender was her voice, so fair her face—though I don’t think he was looking at her face, my lady, pardon me for saying so—”
Sarah buries her nose in his fur. Didymus always smells of rosewater, and a crispness she thinks is just…the Labyrinth. She falls asleep trying to place it.
She wakes up with a wild fox in her bed, animal-black eyes frightened and flat, teeth bared. The fox is whining, and she’s tempted to throw herself across the room, to get away from this wild thing and its teeth. It takes a monumental will to keep herself still and her breathing slow, even; like she’s still asleep and unafraid.
It takes her longer to swallow, and start humming one of the songs he taught her—a knight’s round, he’d said. She’s shaky at first, but the fox’s ears flick forward. It cocks its head, and slowly, the teeth disappear behind its lips.
She almost laughs when noses at her throat curiously, butting its head against her jaw like a cat might.
NONE of this would be happening in the Berenstein universe











