Things Overheard in Dorms

howtomusicmajor:

  • “That’s the fourth time this week you’ve brought up cannibalizing me. Should I be worried?”
  • “So needless to say, she peed on me.”
  • “Wow, this Heineken has such a smooth finish!”
  • “Do you think I can fit an entire orange in my mouth?”
  • “If I hear someone sing Hamilton in the shower again I’m joining them in their shower so I can drown them.”
  • “Someone just gave me a free cake. Should I be worried?”
  • “How did they manage to get that in BOTH shower stalls!?”
  • “How much caffeine is poisonous? Asking for myself, I’m actually worried.”
  • faintly, as though yelled from in a room down the hall “Can you come hand me my Swiss rolls? My head spins if I sit up.”
  • “Well you see, Marxism is actually” *anguished yelling from multiple people*
  • “Why is Ross sitting in a box in the hallway with a sweatervest draped over his head?” “Stress.”
  • “What’s the difference between an undergraduate research assistant and a random nosy 19 year old? Less than you’d think!”
  • “Let Bob Ross caress your happy little struggles away.”
  • “He talks like he thinks the world is waiting with bated breath to hear what he thinks about Fight Club.”
  • *screaming in harmony with a vacuum*

sastiel, for “Body Swap”!

“This is,” Castiel says, nudging minutely forward. “This is—“

“Nn,” Sam says, strangled.

“Sam, I— oh,” Castiel says breathlessly, eyes sliding shut. His face has a extraordinary expression on it at the moment— or, actually,

Sam’s

face does. Long, wild hair is sticking to the wet inside of his lip, and his cheeks are blotchy, face furrowed in concentration. Sam is trying not to stare, or think about what his own borrowed face looks like, with his mouth open and his eyelids getting heavier the deeper Cas gets.



Sam

,” Castiel sighs in Sam’s own voice, head tipping forward, and slides in another hot, solid inch.

“Shit,” Sam says weakly, arms tightening around him. “I—

really

don’t think this is going to work. Maybe we should—”

“No— no, it is,” Castiel says in a rush, looking up, “I’m sure it is,” and Sam would laugh if he wasn’t dying on the end of his own dick.

“Just—

fffuck,”

Sam gasps as Castiel crowds in closer, arms braced above Sam’s head, and his hipbones finally settle against Sam’s ass. “Oh, fuck

me

.”

“Good?” Castiel looks earnest and dazed, a little desperate. “Is that good?”

Good is maybe not the word Sam would use, but he can’t actually get words out around the gasping.

“I like hearing the noises you make,” Castiel whispers, right into the side of Sam’s head, breath unsteady and hot, “I love the way you sound, how you make me sound.”

“Oh, Je—

ah

, ah,

fuck,

” Sam pants. He knows exactly what Castiel means, because he’s never heard Castiel’s voice sound like this, stretched thin and breaking. When Castiel bucks in a little harder, Sam closes his eyes and moans out loud, hears

Castiel

moan out loud, and his own voice echo back at him.

star-anise:

stultiloquentia:

stultiloquentia:

I am reading scholarly works about Jane Austen and having hearteyes about obscure details in the Pemberley chapters of P&P that indicate Mr. Darcy’s sustainable land management praxis.

Okay, let’s talk about Pemberley!

Austen, as a rule, doesn’t spend many paragraphs describing locations. There’s often information to be gleaned from their names (Sense and Sensibility is full of lurking references to sexual scandals and Mansfield Park to slavery), but Longbourn just means “long stream” or “long boundary,” Netherfield means “lower field,” and Rosings’ original owner was a redhead. Meryton, a pun on “merry town,” is kind of fascinating, given the installment of the militia and the threat to stability and serenity they represent. Partying and shenanigans. Possibly a Shakespeare ref.

Longbourn barely gets any description at all. From the get-go, everyone who lives there is obsessed with other places, with getting out (except Mr. Bennet, who never wants to leave his library, never mind the house). Lady Catherine deems it small and mildly uncomfortable, which is in keeping with the theme of confinement, but also it’s Lady Catherine talking. Netherfield can’t tell us much about Bingley, who is only a tenant. Rosings is expensively, ostentatiously modern and gaudily furnished, though it has a handsome park that Lady Catherine and her stifled daughter never set foot in but Elizabeth and Darcy both frequently escape to during their stays.

So it’s notable and wonderful that Austen goes out of her way to describe Pemberley as an old-fashioned, highly successful, working estate. Its practical old Anglo-Saxon name means “Pember’s clearing.” A pember is a man who grows barley. Darcy most likely still does. As Elizabeth and the Gardiners approach and tour the house, they notice and admire its beautiful surrounding woods, and then when they wander outside, the specific word Austen uses is coppice woods. A coppice is a woodland filled with tree species that grow new shoots from their stumps when you chop them down. Darcy probably has oaks on a fifty-year cycle as well as faster-growing species such as hawthorn and hornbeam for firewood, timber and cattle fodder. Coppice forestry is functional and sustainable, and provides habitat for beasts and birds.

Darcy is the anti-John Dashwood (Dashwood, srsly), the brother in Sense and Sensibility who inherits Elinor and Marianne’s childhood estate of Norland, whose wife immediately starts making plans to hack down trees (not even coppice trees, but big, gorgeous, venerable hardwoods) to make way for a folly. Jane Austen hated follies. Also, it ought to be noted that timber was so valuable in Britain at the time that estates often had inheritance clauses that detailed who was and wasn’t allowed to chop down what.

Darcy’s a food producer and land conservator, prefers nature over fussy, ornamental landscape design, his servants and tenants like him, he gives money to the poor… and… he’s a trout fisherman! He shoots, too, as do Bingley and Hurst and Mr. Bennet, but it’s a particular mark in his favour that Austen singles him and Mr. Gardiner out as anglers. It’s a pastime that signifies a taste for contemplation and quietness and appreciation of nature, as blissfully described in The Compleat Angler; or, The Contemplative Man’s Recreation, a hugely popular travel book first published in the 1600s and reprinted often for 18th C libraries. The plot of The Compleat Angler is about the conversion of a hunter (pastime of the ultra-rich) to a fisherman who learns to love the peaceful sport. We receive ample evidence elsewhere that Darcy is a man capable of swift, decisive action and formidable effectiveness. But at Pemberley, Austen takes care to show us how he’s balanced.

Most of the information in this post comes from Margaret Doody’s Jane Austen’s Names

#follow for more soft darcy facts

Happy Halloween! Destiel for prompt 83? “Just Once.”

“And only once,” Dean croaks.

“I understand,” Castiel says, so seriously that Dean kind of wants to smack him. But besides being chronically earnest pain in his ass, Cas is also the only thing standing between him and days of rationing toilet-puking privileges with his brother at the Norfolk Motel 6, so he’ll allow it. Just this once.

It’s otherwise a nice day in Norfolk, bright and cooler. Dean squints into the sun, then looks back at the car, trying to gauge if he’ll make it all the way across the parking lot. Next to him, Castiel is peering intently at his face, fingers creeping towards his arm. Dean immediately holds up an unsteady hand.

“No.”

“But—”

Hell no. Do you see that?” Dean points, and his eyes are doing that weird doubling thing and he’s dizzy and sick but he thinks the blur crawling towards the Impala is Sam.

“There is absolutely no way I could have predicted that reaction,” Castiel says defensively.

Of course they’d tried the Magic Fingers first thing— it’d seemed logical at the time, to cure divinely-induced illness with your very own Christopher Lloyd in the outfield. Dean is so used to it by now the bright zing barely registers; he hadn’t given it a second thought. He’d even let Sam go first.

Sam, who’s currently on his hands and knees in the gravel, trying to get the Impala’s back door open without coming any further out of the fetal position, face a color Dean usually sees in corpses. Yeah, he’s not trying it no matter how sorry Cas looks.

“Sammy?” Dean calls, just checking.

“Bluugh,” Sam gurgles back, which is enough to finally send Dean wobbling down the wooden stairs after him.

“If we drive, I anticipate a further logistical difficulty,” Castiel says, following close behind. He’s festooned in extra clothes, gear bags, weapon cases, the works, because if Dean has to carry anything heavier than his own damn self right now he’s going down and not getting up. Sam can’t even do that much.

“God, Cas, just— figure it out,” Dean says, exhausted.

“But—”

“Please.” Ugh, the sun is so sunny, ugh. “Please, I am begging you, do not make me talk anymore.”

“… very well.”

The ‘further logistical difficulty’ is Sam, flopped all over the back seat like the giant fucking asshole he is. He’s facedown and unmoving, filling all available real estate with his legs sticking out the open door.

“Hey,” Dean says, kicking them. “Scoot up.”

Sam moans.

“Hey!”

“We could try to fly,” Castiel says, again, the world’s most obnoxious Clippy the Paperclip impersonator. “There’s nothing to suggest that you both will have the same response to it as to restoration.”

Sam moans louder. Dean says, “Restoration?”

Castiel sighs. “Please go sit in the front seat.”

This is how Dean ends up slumped low on passenger’s side, annoyed and so nauseous he can barely keep his head up. Castiel takes his sweet fucking time maneuvering all of Sam into the car, closing the doors and climbing behind the wheel. He’s talking in his low, calm ‘you dumbshits’ voice, explaining reconstiwhatnow— something about reversing rather than accelerating something something and how mortal bodies usually fared better if blah blah blah. Dean understands basically nothing. He’s too busy shivering and trying not to upchuck into the map pocket.

“Dean?” Castiel says, tone suggesting it’s not for the first time.

What,” Dean says, not opening his eyes.

“The keys. I’ll need the keys.”

“Fucking… pants pocket,” Dean mumbles, then bats away Castiel’s hand. “I’ll get ‘em, just…”

He cracks open an eye and sees Castiel leaning over him, eyebrows knitted and mouth curved down. “Dean…”

“Don’t fucking look at me like that,” Dean says, and manages to drag the keys from his jeans.

Sitting up is bad. Sitting up while the car is moving is horrible, worse than anything, and Dean screws his mouth and his eyes closed and manages to hang on for the first five miles or so before he calls uncle. Castiel pulls off next to a bridge and Dean makes it out of the car and into the ditch weeds, at least. While he’s folded over himself, contemplating the swirl of mud and bile in the water through watery eyes, another door opens behind him and there’s the sound of someone tossing their cookies out on the asphalt.  

“Sam, if you fuck up my finish, so help me Jesus,” Dean says, coughing miserably.

“You are not faring any better,” Castiel says from close behind him, and a hand grips Dean’s shoulder. “Water?”

The bottle is open and tepid but he drinks it all, after he rinses his mouth out. He stays in the cattails for a few more minutes to make sure everything’s out, then wipes cold sweat away from his forehead with his shirt and pointedly doesn’t let Castiel help him back to the car.

“You could lay down if you wanted,” Castiel says as the engine turns over.

“Unless you’re driving from the floor, no I can’t,” Dean says, huddled against the window. The seatbelt is digging into his chest but he’s not interested in moving for the next, oh, twenty years.

As they start picking up speed, there’s a click, and the pressure eases. Dean lifts his head and squints at Castiel as the sash loosens across his torso. Castiel’s eyes are on the road, but his hand is on Dean’s arm.

“Cas?”

Castiel starts to pull him over, slow but inexorable. “Lay down.”

Pulling against him is useless, or at least useless when Dean’s muscles feel like overboiled spaghetti. “Where? I told you, there’s no—”

Dean’s cheek hits cheap chinos and he stops talking, staring at the bottom of the dashboard.

“There,” Castiel says.

It’s a little uncomfortable, with his legs still in the footwell. It’s an angle Dean hasn’t seen in— decades, maybe. Probably. It takes him a second to find his voice back.

“Uh, Cas? What’re we doing here?”

“I am driving. You are resting,” Castiel says quietly.  His leg shifts under Dean’s head as he brakes for a curve.

There are marks in the plastic under the wheel, little knicks and scratches that are so familiar they make his eyes ache. It’s weird. Dean doesn’t remember the last time he was small enough to do this, that Dad would let him do this.

But… the engine is a sleepy rumble under Dean, and there’s a breeze coming through the open windows. It smells like yellow grass and country road dust. The sun slants in low and warm over the seats, spreading heat over his legs and his chest where his shirt is still damp.

He moves his shoulder in, so the angle for his neck isn’t so bad. A leg propped up on the seat helps too, and he sighs.

“Dean?”

A hand settles on his head, light but sure.

“Keep ‘em at ten and two, man. Don’t make me say it again,” Dean says, and closes his eyes.