I may have mentioned this before, but I have a weird obsession with reading bureaucratic PDFs. Sometimes because they describe an interesting or sinister reality behind the itemized-and-regulated calm, sometimes just because it’s my thing. Here’s some random ones I’ve been enjoying lately:
Behavioral profiles of orcas at Sea World – “Please be advised that this whale was involved in the accidental drowning of a trainer at Sealand of the Pacific in 1991 and involved in an incident with a guest in his pool at 1999 at SWF.”
(”involved in an incident” is highly euphemistic; the guest was found dead with orca tooth marks all over him)
Contract for appearing on “The Bachelorette” – “Such hidden cameras, if any, shall not be positioned to intentionally capture images of you urinating or defecating in the bathroom”
“Inmate Religious Beliefs And Practices” – An attempt by the Federal Bureau Of Prisons to describe the major religions of the world to prison officials. Very long, somewhat disorganized, but filled with the fascinating tension that comes from someone sincerely trying to explain holy rituals to a person whose job is keeping humans in cages.
TL;DR; it’s a bureaucratic committee trying to figure out how to mark nuclear waste so that even cultures 10,000 years in the future will know not to fuck with it.
You are 187 chapters into this fic. You have been reading continually since you began. You must find out what happens next.
An unfinished fic ends on a cliffhanger. It hasn’t been updated since April 1832.
A new show has taken over Tumblr. You see the gif sets everywhere. Intrigued, you go looking. You cannot find the show. Five days later the posts disappear as if they never existed.
Your favorite author posts a new fanfic. It is a different fandom than the one you followed them for, but still one of yours. This keeps happening. You suspect the author may be stalking you.
The gifs of the new trailer come out before the new trailer does. People shush you when you question this. You cannot ask questions about the space-time continuum.
You find a new person to RP with. You send them a message and they respond two years later as if there was no time gap. It is possible that for them, there was no time gap.
This fanart looks nothing like the character. And yet. It looks exactly like the character.
A shipping war begins. You watch the body count climb higher and higher as it becomes more violent. Blood streams from your face and you clutch your weapon to your chest. Afterwords, the survivors sometimes stare with blank eyes and mutter “Harmony…. Harmony…”
That character is clearly a Slytherin. The rest of the fandom seems to think they are a Huffelpuff. There is something wrong.
There is a new coffee shop au for your ship. It is exactly like every other coffee shop au for your ship. It is exactly like every other coffee shop au for every ship. You begin to suspect there has always only ever been one coffee shop au.
You dare not say the true name of Binkydonk Cucumbershoots. Demon names have too much power.
The Supernatural fans have a gif for everything. They cannot be stopped by mortal means.
You begin reading a fic at four in the afternoon. When you next look up it is nearly dawn, and you don’t know what day it is.
Bertie Wooster’s YouTube channel consists entirely of keyboard covers of Top 40 hits.
His videos are noted both for startling competence and for frequent pauses in the proceedings to yell at someone off-camera, “Jeeves, all this ‘Gaga ooh-la-la’ stuff seems pretty straightforward, but what on earth do you suppose she means by ‘Rama ra-ma-ma’?”
Night Flight from Mary and the Witch’s Flower- May 2018
I’m so proud of this piece because I put it together by ear, and it’s a song I’m really excited about.–You don’t hear dulcimers featured that often in music! Also, enjoy a cameo from my cat, Izumiko, in the background.
hammered dulcimers are my secret obsession. this is beautiful!!
PHEW FINALLY, these took way too long but here’s some pride-inspired environments!!
I’m not super used to working with palettes this way but it was still fun to try. sorry if I missed yours– I tried to get as many as I could but I was def running low on ideas/energy towards the end
kototyph 