What if there were women’s cleanliness products that were marketed the way Old Spice stuff is? Like they had names like “Lioness” and “Sycamore” and “Wildfire” and “Hunter’s Moon” and they were touted as making you smell like a warrior queen who does not suffer fools and conquers all she beholds
HELLO LADIES
have you felt the primal call of the unmerciful sea calling you to strike down those who would defy you? no? well if you stopped using overpriced flower-scented body wash and switched to SEA HAG, you might.
look down.
back up. where are you? you’re a siren, bare-breasted and shrieking as you lure the unwary to their doom on the rocks below. and you smell amazing.
what’s in your hand? back at me. it’s a vial of skin-nourishing ingredients, derived from the seaweed you used to strangle a hated foe. it does wonders for your skin tone and resilience, and we all can agree that we will need that resilience in the coming war.
look again: the seaweed is now a formal apology from the last man who unnecessarily tried to explain something to you.
anything is possible when you smell like a vengeful sea witch and embrace your own rage. i’m on a narwhal.
The Goblin Emperor fandom is little and darling and delightful but, of the 311 fics on ao3, fully 9 of them are tentacle porn. That makes the fanfic 2.89% tentacles by volume for a canon that, iirc, never mentions, alludes to, or otherwise hints at any sort of tentacles whatsoever
why.
just to confirm that these levels of tentacle are atypical, I used the Potter fandom as a control group: of the 171,418 potter fics on ao3, 125 mention tentacles, which is only 0.07%
using the same methodology, the Tentacle Density of Star Trek: The Original Series is only 0.21%, although this researcher would point out that the margin of error increases considerably the more a fandom predates AO3 by, and that percentage could well be higher.
A fandom that can be more closely compared with TGE, Tamora Pierce’s Tortall series (by virtue of being a small fandom centered on contemporary fantasy literature), has only 1 tentacle fic, with an overall Tentacle Density of 0.06%. Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, another comparable fandom, also has only 1 tentacle fic, giving it an overall Tentacle Density of 0.15%.
got you……….again……by the april fools beepers……it was multiple birds the entire time…not just one, no egg…………they tell u they hope u have a great april first
having been gone for a month and change, I can confirm this website is still 90% the exact same shit I was consuming then and probably since 2010, kudos on maintaining your fossilized-memes-in-amber niche spot tumblr dot com
kototyph 