evtrained:

prokopetz:

Concept: a bunch of high school Satanists get drunk in the local graveyard and try to conjure a demon, but they’re using one of those “reconstructionist” ritual books that gets its sources all mixed up, so they end up with a minor Mithraic fertility spirit that hasn’t spoken with humans in like 1700 years instead. By the terms of its binding it’s not allowed to leave until it’s ensured a successful harvest for its summoners, which is a problem, because none of these goobers have ever raised so much as a houseplant; if it wants to go home, it’s going to have to teach them how to garden – whether they want to learn or not!

“Five high school sophomores were arrested today on charges of operating an illegal pot growing business behind the Home Depot on I-95. The 200-foot-tall plants, which police could see from their station…”

gingerly-writing:

no negativity this year we love ourselves like supervillains

morganiser:

just-shower-thoughts:

If cows go “moo”, and cats go “meow”, and ducks go “quack”, and dogs go “woof”, what is the designated sound that humans make?

war-lesbian:

you ever just wake up in a cold sweat suddenly totally aware of the full unbridled horror of a world where women’s humanity is tied to their ability to conform to nearly-arbitrary and mostly-unreachable standards of presentation, where every bus and billboard is emblazoned with the promises of some product that will fix you and make you a person again, where the company’s selling these products have the nerve to act like the good guys offering a solution to this problem and not the problem themselves, that for the most part these standards go unquestioned, treated as innate, and some biologist tries to explain them away “scientifically.”  like its literally just evil evil evil