I’m now picturing being but a simple heavy weapons fighter enjoying Pennsic and all of a sudden you see Steve Motherfuckin Rogers, armed with nothing but a shield, charging into the melee.
(In this mental image he is wearing chainmail and his tabard is patterned in red, white, and blue, and his Society Approved wooden shield is painted like his regular shield. Also his symbol is painted on his helmet.)
And you just go “Oh, balls,” right before getting fucking annihilated.
YES EXACTLY CAN YOU IMAGINE
ok but imagine someone tweeting “captain america DESTROYED us today, rip my brave brethren” and tony would obviously see that. by the next meeting tony’s involved. within months it’s an avengers and civilians free for all and the best time of anyone’s life.
Oh god, Tony building his own armor and the field marshals having to explain that no, sir, you are not allowed repulsor jets in heavy combat, and what the fuck are those? Are those arms that hold extra swords? No get that shit out of here what the hell.
Falcon RP’s a dragon. It is the single most glorious battle in Pennsic history.
Clint just makes faces at people while they’re getting ready but shows up with legal arrows and fights on the side of the civilians.
You just caused me a full body shudder of horror at the idea of facing Clint Barton as a combat archer in a war thank you.
You’d be fine. Your King and generals not so much
Another comment just made me realize that Thor would think Pennsic is the single greatest fucking thing there is mead and warriors and glorious battles and food and MORE MEAD and did I mention GLORIOUS BATTLE
Also, given the SCA people that I know, a rather high percentage of people who, like, actually legitimately worship him.
Can you imagine being a simple heathen heavy fighter and then WHAT THE FUCK THOR, SON OF ODIN, IS ON YOUR SIDE IN THE WAR?????? THE FUCK THIS IS THE SINGLE GREATEST DAY THAT HAS EVER BEEN.
I am imagining the Stark Industries stall. And Tony’s encampment.
And his internal argument about whether period weapons count against his decision to stop building weapons on a corporate scale, because you KNOW everyone would want Stark forged armor. And weapons.
ESPECIALLY given the crossover between the SCAfolk & the armed services, who remember fondly the days they had StarkTech, not that stupid Osborn Industries stuff, to say NOTHING of the dark days of the Hammer Tech Era.*
Pepper solves it by creating the corporate sub-group StarkPotts Forges, which does custom armor and weapons, while not-so-coincidentally doing outreach work on the educational side of the SCA, running k-grad school seminars on blacksmithing and design, creating hordes of future metallurgists, historians, artisans, and literal Hordes to make sure that Tony and he rest of the crew get good encampments** for each War.
Because she’ll put up with a lot, but camping at Moot Point is NOT on.
*seriousky, nothing. There was a meeting of the Joint Chiefs, modification to the USCJ, mandatory unit meetings, a memo, and everything. The Corps of Engineers changed the official designation of the carpentry tool ‘hammer’ to ‘shark-head mallet.’
** encampment set up and pre-war campsite overseen by Bucky & Steve, because a camp set up by them is NOT flooding or blowing over. They’re not having a repeat of the Deluge of DeLuge, France, August, 1944.
I like how we all just Know that they’d lose Tony to the arts and sciences people and find him again three weeks later setting up a fucking God-tier traditional blacksmith shop.
Bruce Banner discovers weaving and is lost to the Fiber Arts people forever. He’s found a week later happily building himself a heddle loom and researching how to raise sheep.
Thor, who has never been told the Golden Pennsic Rule of “If it glows or is on fire, do not drink it” learns about many new, exciting, and wonderfully potent Midgardian beverages!
He drinks nine entire camps under the table and in the Viking encampments, he finally finds people who make proper salt pork and onions again! Its been eight hundred years!!!!
Sacrilege!!!
8 years since he landed in NM, and no one took him to the upper Midwest?!?! I’d heard stories from my Iowa-born grandma of the feuds over recipes among her gross of cousins (12 siblings her mother had), and so far as I know, there are still factions of the family in Davenport and Grinnell that won’t speak to each other over what is referred to delicately as the Thanksgiving Vidalia Incident…..
Actually, I can see Bucky, Steve, Clint, Natasha, and Thor being asked to rotate battles so that one or two of them is always with the marshals. What Bucky and Steve don’t know about dirty fighting, Clint or Natasha can notice, and Thor’s voice can stop any battle for the chirurgeons, no matter *how many* people are on the field.
Dear gods but Thor is going to be popular though when he whips up a breeze every afternoon!
And I honestly can’t decide if Bruce would take up textile arts or take over a tent kitchen…
(I wholeheartedly support the head canon for Tony and Pepper and I would pay good money to see a movie of all this just to see Falcon’s RP!)
Guys.
Guys.
T’Challa, in traditional Wakandan gear, including vibranium armor. Which the refs try very hard to outlaw (“Vibranium?! $%@(*^$ Hell no!”) but he’s able to provide perfect documentation – his people have been using this stuff for weapons and armor for more than a thousand years; why, this particular chestplate belonged to his great-great-great-great etc grandfather. (“OMG you can’t bring that here! Why isn’t it in a museum?” “It’s armor; it’s meant to be used. I can think of no more fitting purpose. Let it know the glory of battle among friends, without the stink of blood and entrails.”) (Nakia: “Besides, it’s not like anything here is going to damage it.”)
Shuri poring through history books for records of five-hundred-year-old Wakandan tech. Refs trying very hard to say “no magnetic hovercraft no matter how period they are.”
“Ernest Hemingway would have died rather than have syntax. Or semicolons. I use a whole lot of half-assed semicolons; there was one of them just now; that was a semicolon after “semicolons,” and another one after “now.”
And another thing. Ernest Hemingway would have died rather than get old. And he did. He shot himself. A short sentence. Anything rather than a long sentence, a life sentence. Death sentences are short and very, very manly. Life sentences aren’t. They go on and on, all full of syntax and qualifying clauses and confusing references and getting old. And that brings up the real proof of what a mess I have made of being a man.”
—
Ursula K. Le Guinon being a man – the finest, sharpest thing I’ve read in ages
kototyph 