So my mom works at a church. Actually, she works somewhere that is located in a church, but close enough for government work. It’s not important. Anyway, they had an artist gallery, because sometimes churches do that; it’s a whole “supporting local artists” thing, and it’s pretty standard.
What is very not standard is the artist they happened to host this week.
Susan B. Hale is a musician and painter in the Upstate NY region. (For people wondering where that is: it’s all the not-NYC part. There’s actually an entire state attached to the city, like a big, slightly-racist wart. I’m getting off track.)
Susan’s art is fairly standard, lovely oil-on-canvas Impressionist stuff. Mostly flowers –
– some pretty landscapes –
– some weird abstract shit –
Pretty stuff. If I had anything resembling disposable income, I’d wanna buy some of this stuff, because it’s gorgeous.
You know what else she paints, sometimes?
BIG FUCKING DINOSAURS
BIG FUCKING DINOSAURS FROLICKING WITH FLOWERS
BIG FUCKING DINOSAURS NOSHING ON HUMAN SKULLS IN A BLACK VOID-LIKE HELLSCAPE
BIG FUCKING DINOSAURS ON BIG FUCKING CANVASES PLAYING HIDE-AND-SEEK WITH DEAD FLOATING LADIES BY PICTURESQUE PONDS HOW ARE YOU NOT DELIGHTED BY THIS
Obviously, my immediate reaction was to seek this woman out and find her all of the money. But while I did absolutely spend two hours looking up who she was and then emailing her, she doesn’t appear to have an Etsy – or any online store at all. She has virtually no digital presence, and not much of a reputation offline either.
And this is tragic.
Because let’s be real: this woman should be a fucking internet star. She paints lovely scenes of tranquility and fills them with T-Rexes for no apparent reason, other than that she thinks they’re rad. There’s an alternate reality in which she’s a Tumblr legend, and I want to live in that reality.
So here’s the thing. I know I’m not a Big Tumblr Person. I have virtually no clout in things like this, and the odds of anyone seeing this post are kinda limited. But I also want this woman to be so inundated with requests for awesome dino paintings that she has no choice but to open up an online store. I want my home and those of everyone I know to be filled with humungous, lush oils of morbid hilarious dinosaur beauty, like if Monet spent a glorious weekend binging all of Jurassic Park while also on a cocaine bender.
Reblog this. Email her telling her how great you think she is and how much you wish she had an amazon site or whatever. Consider supporting her, if you have some money and love dinosaurs. Boost the shit out of this, because even if she doesn’t get a single dime, her artwork makes me smile and I want to at least share the happy with others, and maybe bounce some of it back to her.
I am not sorry for the length of this post. You got pretty flowers and fucking dinosand you are welcome for it.
I just found out about the Skeleton Army and honestly like… Can we bring that back
They threw dead rats at the Salvation Army and their flags had coffins on. This is metal as hell and I want in on it
They used to disrupt salvation army marches by basically doing the 1890s equivalent of doing sexy dance moves whilst loudly playing kazoo I LOVE them WHERE is the local skeleton army branch HOW DO I sign up
[Playing kazoo waving pirate flag and handing pamphlets about how evil the Salvation Army is to everyone whom puts money in those fucking Santa buckets every year]
this is the only acceptable version of the skeleton war
OTW Legal and our allies have been active in fighting on fan-unfriendly legal proposals in the EU. Since these proposals were introduced in 2016, OTW Legal has submitted comments opposing them and has joined in calls for action against them. We’ve managed to hold them off so far and encourage some revisions, but a key vote will be happening in the European Parliament’s JURI committee on 20/21 June that could have a significant impact on the Internet and fan sites. In particular, two provisions of the current proposal would be bad for fans. Article 11 would impose a “link tax” that would make it more expensive for many websites to operate, and Article 13 would impose mandatory content-filtering requirements on websites that host user-generated content. These provisions have been hotly debated and revised a bit since the last time we reported on them. (For more on recent revisions and debates, see these discussions by the Electronic Frontier Foundation and the Hogan Lovells Firm) But despite revisions, they’re still bad deals for fans. Importantly, they don’t preserve the “safe harbors” that websites rely on to operate, and they don’t include user-generated content exceptions.
Without safeguards for user-generated content, Article 13 would require your favourite websites to implement systems that monitor user-generated content and automatically remove any content that could potentially infringe upon copyright, giving publishing giants the power to block your online expression. Sites like YouTube, Tumblr, GitHub, Soundcloud, etc., could be required to block the upload of content based on whether it has been “identified” by big corporations, rather than based on its legality. The law is still being debated, and it is difficult to predict how it would impact the OTW’s projects, including the Archive of Our Own, if it is passed. Regardless of how this vote comes out, the OTW will work as hard as we can to keep the Internet fan-friendly. But we need your help. The most effective thing you can do right now is contact your Member of European Parliament. You can use one of these tools to e-mail your MEP or call your MEP to tell them that having user-generated content on the internet is important to you.
Here’s what you can tell them: Without safe harbors for user-generated content, Article 13 of the Copyright Directive would stifle free expression on the Internet. We don’t want mandatory filtering. Algorithms don’t understand limitations and exceptions to copyright like parody, public interest exceptions, fair use, or fair dealing, and we don’t want our non-infringing videos, website posts and art blocked because of a biased algorithm created by big corporations. We want the law to protect user-generated works, not harm them.
OTW Legal will keep fighting for fan-friendly laws!
because it was the only time they ever wore gloves to go Do Crimes. and all i can think of was the conversation that led up to this one useless purchase of the Crime Gloves That Make Us Bad Guys.
“Dean. DEAN. Seriously? We don’t need fucking gloves to look like criminals. If we’re gonna be stealing stuff and letting alarms go off and LETTING OURSELVES GET CAUGHT we’re gonna look plenty illegal. We don’t… we just don’t need the gloves, man.”
and then Dean did what he does every time he has an opportunity to act or dress like a cowboy, you know that thing he does?? he dove in head-first and fucking. insisted. “No no. I’m not getting caught looking like a DUMBASS criminal, Sam. If we’re gonna get caught, we’re gonna get caught looking the part – looking like professionals.”
“Okay, well, setting aside the fact that professionals don’t get caught, we’re also like board-certified graverobbers so what’s the storyline, Dean, do we have graverobbin’ gloves? Do we have pretty, clean gloves for being jewel thieves and nasty dirt gloves for our side kink or what??”
and Dean’s face is like. aghast. “Don’t make it crass. Don’t make it gross. We’re professionals.”
“Do you have professional murder gloves, Dean? Do you have professional parking ticket gloves because we’ve got like nine hundred of those. This is the fucking stupidest thing I’ve done in my life. We’re gonna botch this three times before we actually manage to get caught. Because we’re professionals but to look like the type of professionals that get caught, I’m gonna have to sit still in one place for seven minutes. I’m gonna sit there for seven minutes and have to– like, ‘Oh, no! It’s the cops! Oh, no! Don’t arrest me!’ and shit and it’s gonna be humiliating.”
“I’m buying you mittens instead of gloves. Does that make you feel better? Yours don’t have fingers, so I’m the one who has to do the safe cracking. You’re the lookout who got us in trouble. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. You get mittens with that shitty attitude.”
“I was literally like three weeks away from having a bachelor’s degree and now I’m gonna have crime mittens. I’m gonna sell you for toilet paper when we’re on the inside.”
kototyph 