matojobearsall:

findchaos:

snizhynka:

biodiverseed:

lazyevaluationranch:

8/3 Today we picked the white apples. They have skins the color of old yellowed bones, and translucent flesh so that when you slice them open you can see the seeds through the flesh. Bone-and-glass apples, parchment apples, ghost apples.

They bruise easily, a purplish brown rather too similar to a bruise on human skin. If you pick one up, there’s a good chance the shapes of your fingertips will be marked on it the next day. I want to try writing words on them by pressing on them with a pencil eraser sometime.

They smell very faintly of perfume, maybe roses. They do not smell like apples. Apple maggots never infest them (probably because their growing time is too short to support the apple
maggot fly life cycle. It’ll be another month or two before the
rest of our apples are ripe).

They’re lovely. They are also disgusting. Mealy and soft, with no flavor whatsoever. They’re not sweet. They’re not even sour. It’s like a mouth full of wet cotton ball. I’m pretty sure I spit it out the first time I tried one.

I hope you all understand how weird this is: even the goats are reluctant to eat them. They’ll eat an apple or two, but then they lose interest (except in keeping the sheep from eating any, of course).

I have no idea why a previous resident planted the ghost-apple tree. If they have any flavor at all, only the restless dead can taste it.

I have to say, I’ve seen, researched, and planted a lot of apples in my time, but I have never seen anything like this.

My best guess is that your tree is a chance seedling with a genetic mutation, given that it is both leucistic/albinoid and early-ripening. I’d hazard a guess it’s also polyploid.

lazyevaluationranch: If you’re able to save some scion wood next Autumn, I’d be very interested in grafting a branch or two of this to one of my trees: not for the utility of it, so much as for the novelty and breeding possibilities.

A little added info: It could be a variety of Potter County White Transparent. From the heritage apple site

White Transparent, Ghost or Spirit Apple, or Apples of Saint Peter. The Russian Petrovka group are all thin-skinned pale apples that ripen near the feast of Saint Peter, and are offered to Widows and orphans (first fruits) or to the graves of the recent dead of the winter, representing God’s Mercy after trial. Apple associated with Baba Yaga, and with foretelling the past or the future. This Transparent is from Coudersport, Pennsylvania, likely brought as seed with Russian immigrants.

This makes a great creepy posting, that’s seriously what I thought it was.

sashayed:

rafinhaxalcantara:

put the dude stick on your lips. rub it all around your mouth. do it. dude stick on your face.

Good. Do it. Part your lips for the Dude Stick. Drag your lush yet masculine mouth up the Dude Stick’s smooth, blood-warm side, coating your lips with a pearly trail of tactical moisturizer. Blink slowly, dazedly, overcome with chaprousal as you take the Dude Stick ever deeper. Savor the masculine taste of the Dude Stick, the thick, liquid, earthy bitterness of core natural ingredients. Pay $5 to wrap your eager lips around the Dude Stick. Let the Dude Stick pull your hair. Do it. You’ll like it. It’s for men.

liz-of-all-trades:

boobsdontworkthatway:

capnfreedompants:

Aberford is a 3D brawler/graphic adventure hybrid starring a group of housewives who fight to stop a zombie apocalypse in 1956.

When the men of Aberford, Ohio start turning into flesh-eating monsters, it’s up to Peggy, Betty, Doris and Sylvia to save the day. And rather than skipping ahead to the post-apocalypse (like many games do), Aberford drops you right in the initial chaos and makes you part of the panic, cowardice, and heroism that go along with the end of the world. The game combines in-depth story-telling and complex moral choices with a dynamic, jump-in-and-play combat system to provide you with a fresh take on some of our favorite gameplay styles. And we’re using fast, strong, aggressive enemies that aren’t like any zombies you’ve faced before. Thousands of people are already extremely excited for us to Kickstart, and you should be too.

For anyone who hasn’t heard about this, that game people came up with in this post is actually gonna be a thing on Steam.

This looks rad! 

HOLY FUCKING SHIT SOMEONE ACTUALLY MADE IT. SOMEONE MADE THE POST HOLY FUCK.

Hi, I had a creative writing teacher who told me that reading was only for smart people and laughed when I suggested otherwise, she also told the class that when we had to consider our audience when we were writing and that we had to dumb down what we wrote “in case the people reading has no culture”… do you have things like these on your mind when you write? does the “intended audience” influences your work at all?

neil-gaiman:

My intended audience for something I write is nearly always me. Just an alternate universe version of me, who didn’t write it.