based on extensive observation, I believe that my cats have only a tenuous grasp on how much of my body is “me”
It’s like, Head: definitely Big Friend, note eyes and noise-hole.
Hands: 90% certainty of Big Friend, 10% possibility of toy. comprised of two main parts, the rubby-rubby and the wriggly-scritchers. does Big Friend control them with her mind? the mechanism is unclear.
Arms, aka “Cuddle Snakes”: do these help Big Friend’s hands from getting lost? good place to sit.
Torso: ??? we have no idea what this is. smells like Big Friend but serves no observable purpose. treat as terrain.
Legs, see: “The Lap Conundrum”: 25% chance of Big Friend, totally uninteresting. WHEN LAP: 90% chance of Big Friend, excellently warm. where does the lap go? our finest cat scientists seek the answer to this mystery, but no breakthroughs as of yet.
Feet, aka “Twitchy-Kickers”: 10% chance of Big Friend, 90% chance of foe. all attempts to communicate have ended in hostility. Destroy on sight.
Day: July 25, 2015
Made a tiny new friend
rave did you turn that child from the first picture into a froglet
Uh, do u not see him trespassing in my witch-creek and trying to eat my rampion, like, what kid wouldn’t know the consequences of that
We’ve bought a new house. And our new next door neighbours (two delightful gentlemen) will not stop being nice.
– bought us a seagull proof refuse bag (yes, they are actual things)
– loaned us garden tools when we didn’t have any
– invited us around for Friday night drinks so we could meet the other people on the lane
– one of them brought me a bunch of sweetpea flowers that he’d picked from his garden
– and tomorrow he’s coming to cut our hedge for us with his electric hedge trimmer thing idk, and all I have to do is hold the ladder.
Basically, I am UNSETTLED and am now having to enter into an arms race of niceness and I am already so behind oh god.
Long story short – I just baked a lemon drizzle cake, and it looks great but I can’t even eat it because MR AND MR NICE MUST RECEIVE AN OFFERING.
ABSOLUTE CRISIS I GAVE THEM THE LEMON DRIZZLE AND THEN THEY INVITED ME IN TO HAVE A SLICE AND A COFFEE WITH THEM AND GAVE ME A TOUR OF THEIR HOUSE AND LET ME HOLD THEIR PUPPY. AND THEN THEY CAME AROUND TO HELP ME BAG UP THE HEDGE CLIPPINGS. THESE MEN ARE NICENESS PROS AND I CANNOT WIN.
HELP WE HAD AN HOUR LONG POWER CUT ON THE STREET AND IN THAT TIME THE OTHER MR NICE CAME AROUND WITH MATCHES AND CANDLES ‘JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN’T HAVE ANY’. IT WAS BARELY DARK.
BASTARDS – I’M GOING TO HAVE TO HOST A DINNER PARTY AREN’T I?
The Gay Agenda, everyone.
this is fucking i n c r e d i b l e
getting to know you
I was tagged by notthatstraightbishop
Time and date: 9:27 AM EDT June 17 (and finally posted on July 25. WOW)
Nicknames: Rabbit / Rabbitto
Birthday: The part of May that is Gemini and not Taurus, which I have always resented
Gender: Cisfem
Sexual Orientation: ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Height: 5’5” (I was 5′4 3/4″ for so long but I EARNED that inch)
Favorite color: Super saturated blue-greens like this, or dusky grey-blues like this
One place that makes me happy: I haven’t been able to do this for ages, but we used to literally camp out in Barnes and Noble
How many blankets do I sleep under: sheet + german down blanket received from my great aunt the nun, purchased in the 1950s
What am I wearing right now: high-waisted flowery skirt, old button-up, disappointing Lane Bryant blazer
Last Book I read: Second Grave on the Right by Darynda Jones— this book/this series is a combination of EXCELLENT dialogue and jokes and pop culture references, the FRIGGING WORST storytelling I have ever seen in a published novel, and hilariously bad sex scenes. To top it off, my dad recommended it to me, which means that every time the author awkwardly segues to throbbing loins I automatically think “my dad read this” and squick myself
Favorite food: Sushiiiiii, the flesh of innocent animals in general
Last movie I watched in the theater: Mad Max! WITNESS ME (at the time of writing; I think I saw Jurassic World after that)
Dream vacation: going someplace remote, far away, and cold, mostly just to sleep
Dream wedding: eh, something quiet. no no no to church weddings and long white dresses
Dream pet: I’ve got them 🙂 (cats, the answer is cats)
Dream job: I still think a lot about how much happier I might be as a zookeeper.
Tag nine people you want to get to know better or take on a speed-date:
all y’all, since me being too lazy to find people to tag was what had this sitting in my google docs for a month
mahler 6 appreciation
#MAKE THE MAHLER HAMMER AS FAMOUS AS THE TCHAIKOVSKY CANNONS
I am clearly missing something amazing
It’s even more awesome if you know the story behind it. See, the orchestral score doesn’t actually specify the use of a huge wooden mallet. In fact, it doesn’t specify any particular instrument at all: it just describes a completely hypothetical instrumental sound – “brief and mighty, but dull in resonance and with a non-metallic character (like the fall of an axe)” – and leaves it to the orchestra director to figure out how to actually produce it. Apart from the Big Fucking Mallet, past attempts have included custom-made bass drums, smacking a wooden crate with a sledgehammer, and dropping heavy objects onto the stage from a great height.
I don’t know if Mahler actually intended to troll entire generations of orchestras, but if he did, it totally worked.
There Is A Way Out Of Every Dark Mist by Cécile
Via Flickr
There is something so amazing about receiving an email informing you that someone has left a comment on your fanfic. It’s like, “Brain Secretary cancel my next appointment, I need to read this at least ten times and bask in the feelings of validation.”
so much truth
what are we????
WRITERS!!!!!!what are we gonna do????
WRITE!!!!!!!!!!when are we gonna do it????????
//distant sobbing
I already retweeted this, but I need it here too because I love it, I love it so much
kototyph 
