Yes, a deer. A three-day-old baby deer. It was a terrible idea. When the students rocked back up to the field station with it, we told them off for stock rustling, took it to the farmer who was like, what the fuck am I going with that, I’ll have to cut its throat and use it for dog meat, and we were like, uh, no, so we took it to the SPCA, who were DELIGHTED.
I THOUGHT A “FAWN” WAS SOME KIND OF OBSCURE GEOLOGICAL TERM I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND
YOU PUT A BABY DEER IN A BACKPACK
More geology field shenanigans!
Respected professor claims our hydrochloric acid solution is less acidic than coca cola. We dare him to drink it. HE DOES.
Hiking up a mountain on crutches. “YOLO!”
Painting Cambrian-age trilobite fossils with nail polish.
Creepy abandoned fishing villages. So many creepy abandoned fishing villages.
Student finds brachiopod fossils in an outcrop behind said creepy abandoned fishing village. Respected professor gasps and squeaks “Brachiopods??!?” and goes tearing off up a hill to find them.
Students collect so many rock samples that we can no longer see the floor of the 15 passenger van. The van floor begins to develop its own stratigraphy.
Racing the roadside moose in the 15 passenger van.
Respected professor takes both hands off of the wheel of the moving van to get a picture of the moose. Panic ensues.
Mapping an island with nothing but a Brunton compass, a field notebook, and the largest bottle of fireball whiskey money can buy.
Respected Professor singing along to “Man-Eating Trilobite”
Entire class goes to local bar and won’t stop singing local drinking song for about a week.
That one vegan student that survives off of french fries for a month.
Stealing rock samples from National Parks
Straddling the moho
Licking the moho
Peeing on mantle peridotite just to see if it fizzes
Using the same pocket knife for everything. Eating. Scratching rocks. Removing splinters. Seriously, it’s gross.
Hiking down a river only to discover the water level is MUCH HIGHER than anticipated
Nearly drowning in said river but damn it you kept your electronics DRY
“It’s not safe to drink the water. So everyone gets 2 beers per meal”.
Fitting the entire class into a single hot tub
Every lobster is named Jack Daniels. It is known.
That one “Chinese Canadian Fusion” restaurant
*DID* IT FIZZ?
my husband was once Responsible Adult on a geology field course and the highlight was when I was calling him and it was like
Dr Glass: Oh, an undergrad’s just thrown his compass into the sea.
Me: is that… part of the exercise?
Dr Glass: *nonjudgmentally* well…
(an unearthly, animal roar is heard over the phone)
Dr Glass: Ah, now he’s going into the sea.
Me: …To get the compass?
Dr Glass: I think he just wants the sea to take him.
(a peaceable, nonjudgmental silence follows, with distant splashing)
Dr Glass: Well, I think I’ll go get him now.
I wanna know the lyrics to “Man-Eating Trilobite”.
a little over a year ago I made a spooky podcast rec post – here’s the updated, even spookier version 🕸🕷🎃
* for extra quality spook
Short and Spooky
Finished, 6-10 episode stories that are perfectly encapsulated for a relatively short listen.
Limetown* – 6-episodes. Ten years ago, a small scientific community disappeared. Our intrepid reporter asks, “what happened to Limetown?” There is, allegedly, a season 2 coming down the pipe, but if you don’t mind not having all the answers, the 6 episodes already produced are of top-notch sound quality, writing, voice acting – the works. The mystery of Limetown is a great one.
Six Stories Told At Night – 6-episodes. When Sam’s best friend Joëlle disappears, Sam follows her into Faerie, paying her way with stories. Specifically focused on Canadian folktales, which is very neat.
The Deep Vault* – 7-episodes of an almost-post-apocalyptic drama about a group of longtime friends searching for a mysterious bunker that was an urban legend in their hometown
The Call of Cthulhu Mystery Program – Live tabletop roleplaying with some 1930s radio serial flavor. 8-part miniseries of unknowable horror and black comedy, as five housemates of dubious moral fiber band together to solve a murder most foul and risk their very sanity.
Deadly Manners – A 10-episode dark comedy murder-mystery. The wealthy Billings family is holding their annual dinner party, but with a snowstorm outside and a murderer (murderers?) inside, the bodies are starting to pile up. (Kristen Bell! Denis O’Hare! Alona Tal! RuPaul! LEVAR BURTON!!)
Serial Horror
Each season is a different (though often connected) story, for when you’re craving a particular flavor.
Within the Wires – part of the WtNV umbrella [note from me – THE BEST PART]. The first season is set up as a series of instructional tapes, but it soon becomes clear that the tapes’ narrator is speaking to the patient very specifically. the second season is a series of museum audio guides from the artist Roimata Mangakāhia regarding her fellow artist and lover Claudia Atieno – including Claudia’s disappearance. the third season is told through a series of dictated notes from a bureaucrat to his secretary regarding the trials and tribulations of building the New Society. S3 is currently ongoing, but WtNV always churns out on time.
Archive 81* – the first season follows an archivist starting a new job cataloguing recordings made by a historical society; unraveling ensues. the second season is a… futuristic horrific fairyland? the third season centers on two siblings as they try to perform a [redacted] ritual, perhaps following in their estranged father’s footsteps. while the seasons absolutely have shared characters + a shared universe, you could start at whatever season sounds most to your interests.
Liberty, Tales from the Tower* – the Liberty podcast is excellently scripted sci-fi – also alarming, and worth the listen – but Tales digs deep into the “myths, legends, and horrors that haunt the Citizens of Atrius.”
Longform Horror
Finished but longer stories.
The Black Tapes – intrepid reporter wants to believe; curmudgeonly paranormal investigator says no, but things are WEIRD AND SPOOKY. imo does not stick the landing, but a lot of the journey was pretty fun.
Our Fair City – podcast in a future dystopia. after a climate change-related disaster, humanity lives in subterranean cities powered by lightning rigs above the cities. mole people! mad scientists! algae bars! the first “episode” is very long and a bit rough, tbh, but after that it is ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVES.
Ongoing Horror
Series that are currently ongoing – at the moment, none of these are abandoned, they are simply unfinished, though some have good stopping points.
The Darkest Night – horror anthology narrated by Lee Pace that all ties together in the end. some stories better than others, imo. Season 3 just started.
Mabel – ladies who love ladies, fairy tales, haunted houses, disappearances, magic, horror, DELIGHT. Season 4 and a bonus season currently completed; season 5 coming in the new year.
SAYER – scifi/horror podcast set on Earth’s man-made second moon, Typhon. SAYER is the self-aware AI designed to help new residents adjust to their new lives – what would go wrong? Things start tying together in the third episode, and it turns into a jumbly horror ride you never want to stop listening to. Last season currently ongoing.
The Magnus Archives* – Weekly horror podcast from the archives of the Magnus Institute, an organization devoted to researching the esoteric, supernatural, and terrifying. The stories seem unrelated until you realize they have come together like a trap sprung shut around you. Season 3 just finished.
The White Vault* – The collected records of a repair team sent to Outpost Fristed in the vast white wastes of Svalbard. Unravel what lies waiting in the ice below. Season 2 just started up again.
REVIEWS FOR VENOM JUST CAME IN AND IT’S A 28% ON ROTTEN TOMATOES!!!!!! THIS MOVIES GONNA BE SO FUCKIN FUNNY IM SO EXCITED. GOD I LOVE TERRIBLE SPIDERMAN MOVIES
“If you replaced Tom Hardy for Steve Martin in “All of Me,” and switched out Lily Tomlin for a wad of chewed-up black licorice, you’d have “Venom.”“
“When a major fight scene resembles a pair of black pants caught in a white wash, it’s fair to say you haven’t taken the audience with you.”
“It’s a train wreck of a movie, mixing and matching wildly dissonant tones, bizarre plot contrivances, and a truly unique lead performance.”
“Tom Hardy seems to be trying to be the first actor to win an Oscar and a Razzie for the same performance.”
“A film that feels like what you’d expect from a below average superhero flick circa 2004, like Ghost Rider or Fantastic Four.”
^ some of my fave critic review excerpts. i have never been more excited
some more
“The movie is so ridiculous that many viewers will at least be entertained in a dumbfounded way.”
“Think Affleck Daredevil. Think Ang Lee Hulk. Think Halle Berry Catwoman. That’s… I mean, that’s really all there is to be said, I think.”
“This is a movie that somehow slipped through a wormhole from 2004. That’s my biggest take. It’s a movie that spilled from the pre-MCU era through a crack in time and space… The humor, the story beats, everything right down to the Eminem theme song feels like it emerged Kimmy Schmidt style from a sealed off early ‘00s bunker.”
“Sorry to say that Venom is pretty much a complete failure — a tonal mess that feels 15 years old, ignoring the storytelling strides that the superhero genre has made in recent years.”
“Not sure I had the intended reactions to some scenes, but fun is fun — even when it’s totally ridiculous, right? It’s too bad they didn’t go for the R rating, though.”
“The cast seems to all know they’re in a darker superhero movie, except Tom Hardy who is basically remaking Jim Carrey’s Liar Liar.”
kototyph 