darthstitch:

ancient-absent-goddess:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

thesegoddamnpancakes:

dduane:

elocinneem:

superindianslug:

ohmeursault:

false-dawn:

queer-femme-romulan:

evaunit-05:

Irish people; The faeries aren’t real

Irish people; No fucking way will I go in that faerie ring

#look#you don’t go in a fairy ring and you don’t fuck with a stone in the middle of a field#these are just facts#nobody does it#fairies will fuck you up#Ireland#folklore#fairies (Via @false-dawn)

Look, I don’t believe in God, but I will not disrespect the Good Gentlemen of the Hills. That’s just common sense.

Between this and the Icelanders with their elves I do not understand what is going on above the 50th parallel.

My general rule of thumb: you don’t have to believe in everything, but don’t fuck with it, just in case.

^^^ that part

This is truer than true. Especially the Irish part.

Let me tell you what I know about this after living here for nearly thirty years.

This is a modern European country, the home of hot net startups, of Internet giants and (in some places, some very few places) the fastest broadband on Earth. People here live in this century, HARD.

Yet they get nervous about walking up that one hill close to their home after dark, because, you know… stuff happens there.

I know this because Peter and I live next to One Of Those Hills. There are people in our locality who wouldn’t go up our tiny country road on a dark night for love or money. What they make of us being so close to it for so long without harm coming to us, I have no idea. For all I know, it’s ascribed to us being writers (i.e. sort of bards) or mad folk (also in some kind of positive relationship with the Dangerous Side: don’t forget that the root word of “silly”, which used to be English for “crazy”, is the Old English _saelig_, “holy”…) or otherwise somehow weirdly exempt.

And you know what? I’m never going to ask. Because one does not discuss such things. Lest people from outside get the wrong idea about us, about normal modern Irish people living in normal modern Ireland.

You hear about this in whispers, though, in the pub, late at night, when all the tourists have gone to bed or gone away and no one but the locals are around. That hill. That curve in the road. That cold feeling you get in that one place. There is a deep understanding that there is something here older than us, that doesn’t care about us particularly, that (when we obtrude on it) is as willing to kick us in the slats as to let us pass by unmolested.

So you greet the magpies, singly or otherwise. You let stones in the middle of fields be. You apologize to the hawthorn bush when you’re pruning it. If you see something peculiar that cannot be otherwise explained, you are polite to it and pass onward about your business without further comment. And you don’t go on about it afterwards. Because it’s… unwise. Not that you personally know any examples of people who’ve screwed it up, of course. But you don’t meddle, and you learn when to look the other way, not to see, not to hear. Some things have just been here (for various values of “here” and various values of “been”) a lot longer than you have, and will be here still after you’re gone. That’s the way of it. When you hear the story about the idiots who for a prank chainsawed the centuries-old fairy tree a couple of counties over, you say – if asked by a neighbor – exactly what they’re probably thinking: “Poor fuckers. They’re doomed.” And if asked by anybody else you shake your head and say something anodyne about Kids These Days. (While thinking DOOMED all over again, because there are some particularly self-destructive ways to increase entropy.)

Meanwhile, in Iceland: the county council that carelessly knocked a known elf rock off a hillside when repairing a road has had to go dig the rock up from where it got buried during construction, because that road has had the most impossible damn stuff happen to it since that you ever heard of. Doubtless some nice person (maybe they’ll send out for the Priest of Thor or some such) will come along and do a little propitiatory sacrifice of some kind to the alfar, belatedly begging their pardon for the inconvenience.

They’re building the alfar a new temple, too.

Atlantic islands. Faerie: we haz it.

The Southwest is like this in some ways. You don’t go traveling along the highways at night with an empty car seat. Because an empty car seat is an invitation. You stick your luggage, your laptop bag, whatever you got in that seat. Else something best left undiscussed and unnamed (because to discuss it by name is to go ‘AY WE’RE TALKING BOUT YA WE’RE HERE AND ALSO IGNORANT OF WHAT YOU’RE CAPABLE OF’ at the top of your damn lungs at them) will jump in to the car, after which you’re gonna have a bad time.

If you’re out in the woods, you keep constant, consistent count of your party and make sure you know everyone well enough that you can ID them by face alone, lest something imitating a person get at you. They like to insert themselves in the party and just observe before they strike. It’s a game to them. In general you don’t fuck with the weird, you ignore the lights in the sky (no, this isn’t a god damn night vale reference, yes I’m serious) and the woods, you lock up at night and you don’t answer the door for love or money. Whatever or whoever’s knocking ain’t your buddy.

^ So much good advice in this post right here

I live in the south and… you just… don’t go into the woods or fields at night.

Don’t go near big trees in the night

If you live on a farm, don’t look outside the windows at night

I have broken all these rules.

I’ve seen some shit.

If it sounds like your mom, but you didn’t realize your mom is home…. it’s not your mom. Promise.

One walked onto the porch once. Wasn’t fun. But they’re not super keen on guns. Typically bolt when they see one.

You think it’s the neighbor kids.

It’s not the neighbor kids.

Might sound like coyotes but you never really /see/ the coyotes but then wow that one cow was reaaaaaally fucked up this morning. The next night when you hear another one screaming you just turn the tv up a little more. Maybe fire a gun in the air but you don’t go after it. If it is coyotes then it’s probably a pack and you seriously don’t want to fuck with that and if it’s the other thing you seriously REALLY don’t want to fuck with that.

So in the south, especially near the mountains, you just go straight from your car to inside your house, draw your curtains and watch tv.

If you see lights in the fields just fucking leave it alone.

Eyes forward. Don’t be fucking stupid. Mind your own business. Call your neighbors and tell them to bring the cats in. There’s coyotes out. Some of them know. Most of them don’t.

Other than that everything’s a ghost and they died in the civil war. Literally all of everything else is just the civil war. We used to smell old perfume and pipe tobacco in the weeks leading up to the battle anniversaries.

Shit’s wild and I sound fucking crazy but I swear to god it’s true.

In the Philippines, you laugh at us for pointing with our lips.

Trust me. It’s a thing every Filipino can do.

We don’t point because it is impolite. It’s a holdover from the provinces. You don’t point because Somebody Unseen will take offense.

When you walk in the fields, you always say “Tabi tabi po” (Pardon me, excuse me, just passing through) as a sign of respect. Especially if you need to answer nature’s call and there’s no bathroom to go to.

You never knock over little mounds because the Old Nuno lives there.

You turn your clothes inside out if you get lost walking in the woods or in the Mountains, because you know They are playing tricks on you.

You never mess with an old balete tree. It is Their home.

Faerie lives in the Philippines too. And we give them the respect they deserve.

spatscolombo:

I like the idea that there’s a telepathic dimension to Vulcan flirting (actually it’s probably mostly telepathic?), just little pings of affection that are as subconscious and subtle as human body language, and if you’re Vulcan you don’t know you’re doing it and if you’re human you don’t even know what’s happening, it’s just like inexplicable shivers or static shocks that leave you feeling kind of high. To the point that Kirk starts asking if anyone else has noticed this and has Scotty check the wiring on the bridge and in the turbolifts. And then halfway through “Journey to Babel” Amanda notices that Kirk keeps getting those “someone walked over my grave” shivers right after he does something cute and she’s literally the only person in the universe equipped to take him aside and tell him what that means.

GOOGLE DOCS HACK

weavemama:

There is a new hack going around in gmail where someone you’ve contact or someone you don’t even know sends you a weird ass email about a google document: 

The most common hack is from someone with a bunch of h’s….

If you click it…. it takes you to this google docs “sign in” page. When in reality, google doesn’t require you to put in your password to view a document if you’re already logged in. 

One you type in your password into this scam, boom. Your account is hacked and the hacker will use your account to send more scam emails. 

So yeah, DO NOT CLICK ON THIS DOCUMENT. I know this is a very busy time in the school year and students have a bunch of google docs projects and essays to do, so it’s possible some people will click it thinking it’s for school. But please, be careful and don’t click on a google docs email unless you’re 100% sure someone you know is sending you one.  

The Most Important Advice I Can Give To Writers

petermorwood:

blue-author:

blue-author:

Go to YouTube.

Watch Bob Ross.

Listen to him talk about painting.

Seriously, this guy… this guy is full of advice for a writer who’s having trouble getting started.

He’s not writing, he’s painting, but… okay, like, he can sit there and talk about geology and the diffusion of light and make it clear that he knows what a mountain is and he knows what goes into the interplay of light and perspective, and then you’ll watch him smear some black paint on top of a still wet canvas with a thin metal wedge, and then take a brush and push it downwards so that it mixes with the base in such a way that it ends up lighter at the bottom and eventually just fades into the background.

And then he’ll take some titanium white paint and do the same thing to add snow and light, and you’re thinking… “But… interplay. Geology. Perspective.” and he’s just pushing paint around, talking about figuring out where the north slope lives and how there are no mistakes, just happy little accidents and then he steps back at the end and holy moly, it looks like he painted a mountain.

It doesn’t look like he pushed paint around for ten minutes, it looks like he looked at a real mountain somewhere and copied it.

Is there a real mountain that matches the painting? No. Could he use this method to exactly replicate an actual mountain? No. But he made a mountain that looks real enough, and even if he didn’t have 100% control over the final look of it, he conjured it out of his imagination.

This is the trick that more writers need to learn. It’s possible to create a story or even a whole book through meticulous planning and careful construction, but… most people can’t do that. It’s not that we’re not willing to put in the work, it’s just too easy to get stuck. Too easy to never leave the “Well, I’m still worldbuilding/researching” stage. Too easy to write oneself into a corner or get bogged down in the details.

So this is my advice today for fiction writers:

Learn how to speed paint.

Learn how to work wet on wet.

Learn how to push paint around on the edge of a knife.

Learn how to figure out where things want to live by feel and how to allow for happy little accidents.

There will be places for fine details and intricate sketches. But when you’re staring at a blank canvas and you have no idea where to start… paint the whole thing blue and start scraping up some mountains. 

Quick, broad strokes. That’s all it takes to get you started. Quick, broad strokes and a few happy accidents.

Reblogging for myself.

Useful advice, especially this –

It’s possible to create a story or even a whole book through meticulous
planning and careful construction, but… most people can’t do that. It’s
not that we’re not willing to put in the work, it’s just too easy to get
stuck. Too easy to never leave the “Well, I’m still
worldbuilding/researching” stage. Too easy to write oneself into a
corner or get bogged down in the details.

Until you’ve created a sky and a landscape there’s no need to research the shape of leaves on trees, and even less need to find out how their veins wiggle. If something that minuscule is an important plot point – and if it’s too minuscule it’ll start to feel like a Deus ex Machina – come back to it later once the story is complete.

I speak from guilty rivet-counting experience here. Four carefully-researched chapters out of a projected fifteen Did Not Make A Finished Book – and perhaps never will, because I got so embroiled in tweaks and polishes that I literally lost the plot and spoke (or thought) the Eight Deadly Words. Bad enough when a reader says them; if it’s the author, there’s a problem. That material is now in the “check this later maybe” folder that’s the Dropbox equivalent of shoved to the back of the drawer. At least it hasn’t been deleted. (Never Delete Anything.) Be warned by me.

(It’s why so many of my arms and armour (etc) posts have a slant towards use in writing, and why you’ll often see observations like “if specific – a 7.62mm Nagant revolver with a Bramit suppressor – isn’t vital, vague – a silenced handgun – works fine with less chance of error”.)

@dduane often uses and mentions C.J. Cherryh’s “ten-item-shopping-list” technique – ten sequential incidents to take a story from “Once upon a time” to “The End”, and ten smaller incidents inside each larger one to take a chapter from its start to its finish. That’s what will happen to he things at the back of the drawer when/if they come out again.

Given how many novels DD and CJ have written, it’s a technique worth noting even if outlines aren’t your thing.

motorizedduck:

roachpatrol:

underscorex:

megabeeprime:

froborr:

roachpatrol:

roachpatrol:

prokopetz:

writebastard:

prokopetz:

Random Headcanon: That Federation vessels in Star Trek seem to experience bizarre malfunctions with such overwhelming frequency isn’t just an artefact of the television serial format. Rather, it’s because the Federation as a culture are a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles,
tooling around in ships packed full of beyond-cutting-edge tech they
don’t really understand. Endlessly frustrating if you have to fight
them, because they can pull an effectively unlimited number of bullshit
space-magic countermeasures out of their arses – but they’re as likely
as not to give themselves a lethal five-dimensional wedgie in the
process. All those rampant holograms and warp core malfunctions and
accidentally-traveling-back-in-time incidents? That doesn’t actually
happen to anyone else; it’s literally just Federation vessels that go off the rails like that. And they do so on a fairly regular basis.

So to everyone else in the galaxy, all humans are basically Doc Brown.

Aliens who have seen the Back to the Future movies literally don’t realise that Doc Brown is meant to be funny. They’re just like “yes, that is exactly what all human scientists are like in my experience”.

THE ONLY REASON SCOTTY IS CHIEF ENGINEER INSTEAD OF SOMEONE FROM A SPECIES WITH A HIGHER TECHNOLOGICAL APTITUDE IS BECAUSE EVERYONE FROM THOSE SPECIES TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE ENTERPRISE’S ENGINE ROOM AND RAN AWAY SCREAMING

vulcan science academy: why do you need another warp core

humans: we’re going to plug two of them together and see if we go twice as fast

vsa: last time we gave you a warp core you threw it into a sun to see if the sun would go twice as fast

humans: hahaha yeah

humans: it did tho

vsa: IT EXPLODED

humans: it exploded twice as fast

I love this. Especially because of how well it plays with my headcanon that the Federation does so much better against the Borg than anyone else because beating the Borg with military tactics is nigh-impossible, but beating them with wacky superscience shenanigans works as long as they’re unique wacky superscience shenanigans.

Yeah, I love this.

Reminds me of the thing I wrote a while back about Humans in high fantasy realms – they’re basically Team Fuck It Hold My Beer I Got This.

Impulsive, passionate to a fault, the social structures they build to try and regulate this hotheadedness ironically creates even greater levels of sheer bull-headedness. Even their “cooler” heads take action in months or weeks.

All their great heroes of the past were impossibly rash by galactic standards. Humans Just Go With It, which is their great flaw but also their greatest strength.

klingons: okay we don’t get it

vulcan science academy: get what

klingons: you vulcans are a bunch of stuffy prisses but you’re also tougher, stronger, and smarter than humans in every single way

klingons: why do you let them run your federation

vulcan science academy: look

vulcan science academy: this is a species where if you give them two warp cores they don’t do experiments on one and save the other for if the first one blows up

vulcan science academy: this is a species where if you give them two warp cores, they will ask for a third one, immediately plug all three into each other, punch a hole into an alternate universe where humans subscribe to an even more destructive ideological system, fight everyone in it because they’re offended by that, steal their warp cores, plug those together, punch their way back here, then try to turn a nearby sun into a torus because that was what their initial scientific experiment was for and they didn’t want to waste a trip. 

vulcan science academy: they did that last week. we have the write-up right here. it’s getting published in about six hundred scientific journals across two hundred different disciplines because of how many established theories their ridiculous little expedition has just called into question. also, they did turn that sun into a torus, and no one actually knows how. 

vulcan science academy: this is why we let them do whatever the hell they want. 

klingons: …. can we be a part of your federation

Humans: so, uh, funny story

Vulcan Science Academy: Let us guess – you’re not here to return the two warp cores we loaned you for experimentation, and you’re here to tell us that both of them were destroyed at once while you were trying to turn a sun into a torus again

Humans: well, half right

VSA: Wait, what is this

Humans: This is sixteen warp cores

VSA: How is this

Humans: Turns out that at the center of the stellar toroid there was a subspace anomaly that—

VSA: PLEASE don’t

Humans: —caused a refractive tachyon emission that—

VSA: This is literally impossible in every sense of the word

Humans: — depolarized the warp fields and in short—

VSA: Just no

Humans: — the warp fields got cloned and we ended up with four.

VSA: But you brought back sixteen

Humans: We had to repeat the experiment a couple of times to make sure it wasn’t a fluke

VSA: What about the “stellar toroid” of yours

Humans: It’s now a stellar triquetra

kaylapocalypse:

thoodleoo:

thoodleoo:

in tibullus 1.8 (a poem about his boyfriend Marathus) has this line about “pugnantibus linguis” (literally battling tongues) which means that the idea of tongues battling for dominance in homoerotic fiction has been going on since at least the 1st century bce and i think that’s beautiful

somebody here pointed out that i did y’all a disservice, for which i apologize deeply. i did not point out to you that these battling tongues are also accompanied by umida oscula (wet kisses), which are given to the boyfriend as he anhelanti (pants), as well as in collo figere dente notas (making marks on his neck with teeth). so tibullus has been writing harlequin romance-level erotica since before the common era and that’s something i never thought i’d have to say in my life

im scream


http://kototyph.tumblr.com/post/160191995588/audio_player_iframe/kototyph/tumblr_n03fn8eKK31qbtna7?audio_file=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tumblr.com%2Faudio_file%2Fkototyph%2F160191995588%2Ftumblr_n03fn8eKK31qbtna7

mydadisindianajones:

jordanjfelix:

bubbelgumrock:

So my friend is an acting major looking to get into broadway stuff, so she’s been doing a lot of voice training. Usually she does covers of broadway songs, but sometimes she gets bored and decides to sing other things.

She did a cover of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and her voice coach liked it so much he liked mixed it and everything and it sounds great.

wait that was fucked

image