Futhermore: “tumblr” as you experience it is defined entirely by whom you’re following. If you think tumblr doesn’t focus enough on recovery or female artists or Jason Momoa, follow some recovery/female artists/Jason Momoa blogs, and tumblr will change.
THIS. People are always going on about “tumblr is so toxic” like there’s a singular tumblr experience and we’re all helpless to escape it. UNFOLLOW PEOPLE. If someone’s putting bullshit on your dash, just unfollow them. Follow new people. It really is that simple. Tumblr is what you make it.
I’ll be honest, whenever a work of speculative fiction (fanmade or otherwise) goes out of its way to describe an intelligent species with bizarre and complicated reproductive biology, the first question that invariably pops into my head is: “How do these critters masturbate?”
what if masturbation was uniquely a human experience though
Okay, I know that you meant “what if humans are the only intelligent species that’s anatomically capable of masturbating?”, but now I’m picturing a universe where humans are the only ones that ever thought to try it.
Human masturbation specialists traveling the galaxy to offer our gift, undertaking rigorous study and enormous personal risk to teach weird-ass aliens how to rub one out.
Calculating the exact harmonic frequencies to allow ancient, vacuum-dwelling crystalline intelligences to self-stimulate.
Descending into the crushing atmospheres of gas giants in specially constructed aerostats to design sex toys for the vast, jellyfish-like super-predators that prowl the hurricane slipstreams.
I HAVE BEEN SO SO BUSY THESE LAST TWO DAYS so before i go to work LOOK!! LOOK
they’re finally here. these things put me in Charm Coloring Hell for what felt like forever, but the takeaway is fantastic. i am so happy with these little guys. super not ready to put them up yet, but i might toss up the listings christmas day just to be festive–in my defense, the holiday spn special is also late, SO
ALSO in the midst of my crazy busy holiday season, i’ve been getting all sorts of exciting things in the mail from a bunch of you guys. thank you so much, it really brightens up my day when i head to the post office and i get a surprise!! ;o;
Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas! | Chuck Jones | 1966
Tumblr Replies | Wizardries & David Karp | 2015
this post gets better and better the longer we go without replies
I guess sixty-four thousand counts as “only a few”….
How The Staff Stole Commenting by Clockways Suess
Every User using Tumblr Liked Posting a lot… But the Staff, who controlled all of Tumblr, did NOT! The Staff hated Posting! The whole Posting season! Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be their head wasn’t screwed on just right. It could be, perhaps, that pockets were too tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all, May have been that their heart was two sizes too small.
“Really anyone who can shine shoes and make coffee,” Will had told the man at the agency. “As long as he doesn’t mind dogs.”
The man had paused, pen over paper. “How many dogs, sir?”
“Seven.”
“I was given to understand that you live in the city, sir?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
The man had given him A Look.
Will had gone home without much hope and to bed after too much to drink. He’d had a summons from Uncle Frederick to appear at his country estate for the weekend, and the thought of facing it sans dogs and sans valet was casting a shadow over a situation that was already so poorly lit as to be considered gloomy if not actually stygian.
He woke in the morning, still filled with despair and now blinded by a hangover that made his head throb in time to the piercing buzz of the doorbell. He staggered to the door in his pajamas with the sole intention of stopping the noise and going back to bed.
When he yanked the door open, the man on the other side spoke before he could. “Mr. Graham? My name is Hannibal Lecter. I believe you advertised for a valet.”
Will blinked at him and rubbed hard at his eyes. Lecter only looked at him with a mild expression as the dogs erupted from around Will’s feet.
“There’s seven of them,” Will said.
“Yes, so the agency informed me.”
“Can you make coffee?”
Lecter gave him a very faint smile. “And shine shoes, sir.”
And he hadn’t flinched at Will’s appearance or the mess visible from the front door. Wil waved him in. “You’re engaged.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“I’m going back to sleep.”
“Yes, sir.”
By the time Will woke up again, Lecter had cleaned the place so thoroughly that Will barely recognized it, cooked for the dogs, made coffee fit for the gods, and delivered it on a silver salver that Will definitely did not own.
Lecter was now looking through his suits in search of something suitable for the day. He didn’t look happy with what he saw. “We’ll need to consider your wardrobe, sir.”
kototyph 