there are some authors you tearfully wave goodbye to and wish the best of luck as they switch pairings or fandoms. they were great buddies for a while, now it’s over, bon voyage

then there are the motherfuckers who have you reading 150k genfic on the backstory of a character that shows up for three seconds in a fandom you’ve never heard of five years after you first started following them

whitmerule:

greymichaela:

gormengahst:

the problem when reading a discworld book is you have literally no idea whether the deep, existential passage you are reading is leading up to something profound or to a pun

The “problem”

The gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that’s where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won’t do if they don’t know about it. This explains why it is so important to shoot missionaries on sight. 

(Eric – one of the earliest and least profound)

Sign Aesthetics

Aries: Swimming pools, cold drinks in the summer. Hazy orange-yellow sunsets, passionate kisses. Hair touching, long car rides with friends, watching the sunrise. Long naps, yelling along to music.
Taurus: Secluded forests, slight breezes that sway tall grass. Long, meaningful text messages, chipped nail polish, the smell of the ocean. Having the music at full volume and drowning out the rest of the world.
Gemini: Long car rides alone, windows down, loud music. Poetry, typewriter clicks. Laughing so hard your stomach hurts. The color black and navy blue, the smell after the rain. Existentialism, looking at stars.
Cancer: Long, warm hugs. Hand holding, kept secrets and light-hearted jokes. The color blue, dogs, wild flowers that grow in your backyard. The smell of new books, and the sound of an old piano.
Leo: Clean sheets, sleeping in late. Sunlight pouring into your room. Stretching, the smell of chocolate chip pancakes. CD’s and clothes everywhere, intimacy. Bonfires, exotic beaches, and slightly out-of-tune guitars.
Virgo: Freckles, musical theatre, live performances. Harmonic singing, late night phone calls. Raspy morning voices, vanilla, and running until you’re out of breath. Art museums, dancing, dark circles under your eyes. Foreign countries and languages, dogs.
Libra: Smiling between kisses, art galleries, paint-stained clothing. The sound of the harp. Graphite, the smell of coffee. Kept promises, swimming, and colliding hugs. Intertwined fingers, cats, crying, and the smell of burning wood in the wintertime.
Scorpio: Comfortable silence, nature, relaxation, being home. Thinking, being with family, the color green. Intelligence, old books, and the calming hum of a car engine. Camping, imperturbability.
Sagittarius: Colorful hair, falling snow. Hidden rivers, small towns. Art stores, book shops, the smell of baked cookies. Long, meaningful hugs, hand-written letters. The calm before a storm, candids, canoeing. Friendship, drives at dusk.
Capricorn: The piano, antique shops. The smell of freshly baked bread. Herbal tea, late night sketches, seeing someone you love for the first time. Knowledge, the color purple, wit, slow songs, and sarcasm. Long, hot showers, the sound of the rain.
Aquarius: Travelling, foreign food. The gentle breeze of a fan in the summer, the smell of watermelon. Peaches, musicals, vinyl’s, black and white movies. Sleeping until noon, iced coffee, tanning. Perfume, the taste of champagne, blogging.
Pisces: Hanging plants, baby blue eyes. Trying to suppress laughter at 4 am with your best friend, horror movies, conspiracies. The smell of popcorn, swift kisses, constant eye contact. The Beatles, strawberries, and the color yellow.

likkistu-ormur:

I went to the farmer’s market yesterday and at the honey guy’s booth and there were all these bees just hangin out.  Checking out the beeswax tabs, floating around the honey jars, not being aggressive, just really gentle and investigating or something

and as he was giving me a sample of the wildflower honey one of them landed on his hand and he just took a drop from the jar and dabbed it on his hand for the bee, and when I asked if they were his bees he said “No, but they show up every time I come out, I think they just know my truck” and this guy is well-known among the local bees and lets them sit on his hand and eat his honey and I just really like the bee guy

pod7et:

seananmcguire:

lizawithazed:

roachpatrol:

kiddthemaniac:

when-the-reindeer-comes-home:

bolto:

white dude in this horror movie : *translates old arabic text* *somehow it rhymes perfectly in english* 

Now I really wanna see a horrible faltering translation from one of these movies, like “Whomsoever enters this room, they shall… well, this word is like… literally it means ‘unbecome,’ but it was used as a euphemism for death, pooping, and—wait, when was this carved?  was it 15th century? Cuz it was a euphemism for sex too in the 15th century.  This is either a cursed crypt, a bathroom, or a royal bedroom. Who wants to roll the dice?”

“You guys, I’ve gotta be honest, okay? This thing’s written in some kind of weird localized dialect, and I’ve only ever studied the standard form of the language. I mean, this part right here…I can’t even tell if it’s some kind of error, or an obscure slang phrase…whatever it is, I have no idea what the fuck it means.”

‘this is written in ancient sumerian. it’s about… uh… well that word is… uh. okay this is either a poem about farming, or straight-up a nasty sex guide. it might be both. i want a shower.’

“okay see the thing is in one dialect this word is the name of a terrifying Demon but in a completely different language from the same area that has the same writing system and gave a lot of loan words to the first, it means ‘horse’ – and the context is really not helping”

“You know what?  This thing is bound in human skin and the walls are bleeding let’s just leave.”

#those examples are#in order#Sam#Kevin#Cas#Bobby#and Dean

opalclit:

things about cuddling that fanfictions often fail to mention:

  • “move my arm is falling asleep”
  • “i can’t breathe”
  • “just jam your knee right up my crotch. this is fine”
  • “omg get up you’re taking up the whole bed”
  • “did you just fart” “yes” “it’s okay. release your demons”
  • “did you just fart” “yes” “okay.” *ten seconds later* “AUGH”
  • “you’ve got bad breath” “omg do i really” “yes” “i’m so sorry” “it’s okay”
  • *hand is accidentally on a boob/nipple/genital* “omg don’t move”/”omg i’m so sorry”
  • *can hear the other’s tummy gurgle*
  • “i’m hungry” “i’m not moving”
  • “i have to pee” “nooooooo”
  • *right as one person is about to fall asleep, one of their body parts jerk and it scares the poop out of the other person*
  • *hours later when they’ve both fallen asleep and are no longer cuddling, one person stretches and softly punches the other in the face*

bonus:

  • “do you remember when you used to think you were straight”
  • “do you remember when we thought we were just friends”

jaclcfrost:

bare minimum? i thought you meant bear minimum. as in the smallest amount of bears possible. which is why i brought one bear. there’s one bear. aka. the smallest amount of bears possible. i mean this is a problem but at least it’s not like. bear maximum

robotmango:

i love how bucky is like “i know two things about you: ur mom existed and ur shoes were always garbage” and that’s it, that’s all it takes, steve is ready to fistfight the fucking moon