Day: February 21, 2016

brainsforbabyjesus:

bamf-castiel:

Ahhh so… What are your thoughts on professor Castiel Novak?

Extended thoughts on Professor Castiel Novak:

• Not only does he occasionally wear “The Pants“ he sometimes wears “The Sweater Vest“ and “The Shirt“. Once in a blue moon he wears “The Belt”.
• Probably brings his own lunch. Probably eats it outside.
• Is the professor that runs that unusual but cool one off sports team on campus (think dragon boat racing or logger sports or like competitive blacksmithing). People come to watch him demonstrate the sport at the beginning of the year. A lot of people. They are very interested in sports.
• He also endorses that really nerdy club on campus. Avidly. Like, don’t get him talking about Lichen Appreciation Club because he will never shut up.
• Sciences to death philosophy and philosphizes to death science. ie. If he is the philosophy professor students come away wondering if calculations about energy and time put into a system should be considered in debates about animal rights since it removes unfair human biases about animals. If he is a science professor students come away trying to figure out if spreading life on mars is immoral and whether xenoenvironments that don’t support human life have intrinsic value.
• One time back in the early 90s he posed for a charity calendar naked. He was Mr. November. Every year new students wonder why people jokingly refer to him as “November Novak” and then they see the calendar.
• He will never live down the charity calendar.
• Only wears black socks until someone buys him navy blue socks for christmas. Now occasionally he wears one black sock and one navy blue sock by accident. You know when this happens because he will frown at his feet all day. It is weirdly adorable.
• Makes cookies for his students at the end of exams.
• If you write sarcastic comments in the margins of your test he will write back to you.
• If you draw things in the margins of your test he will comment on your drawings and maybe give them titles.
• Appears to be perpetually single. Maybe. It’s debatable. He hangs around the professor that teaches metallurgy a lot but that might also be because they both enjoy the weird nerdy club. But he also hangs around with the professor that teaches hyrdogeology but that might be because they’re co-coaches for the weird sports team.
• Alumni always talk about how back when they went to Professor Novak’s classes he’d turn up in leather jackets and jeans and rode a motorcycle to school. He was basically the rock star of his field. The university/college has spent years trying to clean up his image.
• All current students feel betrayed and cheated that they missed out on leather jacket wearing motorcycle riding Professor Novak.
• The charity calendar involved the motorcycle.
• He knows about all the creepy secret passages and rooms at the school.
• Is very knowledgeable about quirky town history.
• He talks about what he did on the weekend sometimes. Often his adventures include either Dean the Metallurgy Professor or Meg the Hyrdogeology Professor. This has led to most students falling into two distinct camps: Megstiel (Camping trip to go bird watching was totally code for: we were banging) and Destiel (No way, materials science fair was definitely doublespeak for we rented a fancy hotel room and screwed all weekend). There is a smaller portion of students who are like, yeah but, have you thought about Meanstiel?
• He runs. Students see him running around town all the time. Nobody can figure out where he lives because he will pop up everywhere. For a while there is a rumour that he lives above one of the bars downtown since people see him running nearby it frequently but then he starts showing up all over rural roads outside of town so who knows.
• Sometimes donuts, muffins, and/or cookies show up on his desk. He never questions them. Students wonder if he knows who gave them to him (Was it the Hydrogeology Professor? The Metallury Professor? Or both?) or if he’s just okay with eating mystery food.
• Seriously, he will never live down the charity calendar.
• Comes dressed for Halloween every year.
• Is the worst for public speaking when the college/university is trying to bolster their very prestigious image. He likes puns and thinks he’s funny. It all goes down hill from there.