u know i’ve expressed my love for fake married/fake dating many, many times but like. is anything better. is anything better on this earth. does any trope or genre truly care for us quite like this one. let us reflect on a few of the gifts that fake married/dating consistently gives us:
character a asks “hey, will you pretend to be my date for a week for [convoluted excuse that could easily be solved without a fake relationship]?” character b, fully convinced of the futility of their DEEP AND UNREQUITED LOVE, figures this’ll be a chance to spend time with them and possibly put their feelings to rest. character b is always wrong & it is always amazing.
having to SHARE A LIVING SPACE FOR ARBITRARY FIC REASONS. having to see eachother in their pajamas first thing in the morning, messy haired, drowsy eyed and soft faced. going from “you can have the bathroom first” to brushing their teeth beside eachother and feeling like this closeness has always existed (at the same time, painfully aware that it won’t always).
related to the last one — “”practicing”” their casual touching so that it’s easier when they’re in public. feeling SWOOPS OF ARDOR AND AGONY when they feel the brush of a hand on their neck, or an arm loop around their waist. don’t you love how fake marrieds/dates are always method actors who must FULLY INHABIT their roles. i love it. i live for it.
bed sharing. :^) we all pretend we’re bigger than this but we are not.
“kiss me while everyone’s looking.”
the character who wasn’t aware they were in love (maybe always had been) until the fake relationship is in full swing, realizing they have to sort their feelings out before their time together is up. sometimes they succeed and angst is minimal. most of the time they don’t, really.
telling eachother “i love you” in public and meaning it, heart aching over it, but bELIEVING THE OTHER 2 BE ACTING. my soul is still 15, this garbage still gets me. u don’t get pining better than this.
the days leading up to the end of the arrangement where one of them, still confused and muddy about their Feelings and unsure how to break things off, stiffens to the casual, reflexive touching and puts their walls back up. the other one accepts and respects this as the end of their agreement and squashes back down all the hope they ever had, stuffs it next to the heartbreak they’re ignoring deep in their chest.
when they realize they’re actually fully and enthusiastically mutual about the way they feel and it’s, like, two parts euphoria and one part agony because they just cannOT BELIEVE, the happiness tears them in two. maybe there are weepy or laughing kisses. i don’t know but i’m usually invested like 2000%. i love fake dating/marrieds.
Hi there! Thanks for asking, because as someone who’s a little older than Dean, do I have news for you!
Dean’s always been associated with using drugs. In past seasons he’s had a convenient little bottle of pills on numerous occasions. He was able to identify roofies on sight back in 9.13, he offered Sam some iffy pills once telling him only that they were “effective.” So he’s got a history with experimenting with drugs for recreational purposes (or otherwise).
And viagra is used by perfectly functional people as a recreational drug.
For people who don’t have any trouble getting it up, it basically gives you the refractory period of a teenager. Essentially, you could go all night. So of course Dean would be interested in it. Who knows, he may have used it in the past. Either way, it’s perfectly in character for him, and not a comment on his ability at all. It’s more a reminder that Dean’s a guy who doesn’t have a problem with recreational drug use.
I intend on cosplaying Kuzco this summer, and I innocently googled “llama costume” and I feel like a whole new world has opened up before me. What a time to be alive.
Random Headcanon: That Federation vessels in Star Trek seem to experience bizarre malfunctions with such overwhelming frequency isn’t just an artefact of the television serial format. Rather, it’s because the Federation as a culture are a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles,
tooling around in ships packed full of beyond-cutting-edge tech they
don’t really understand. Endlessly frustrating if you have to fight
them, because they can pull an effectively unlimited number of bullshit
space-magic countermeasures out of their arses – but they’re as likely
as not to give themselves a lethal five-dimensional wedgie in the
process. All those rampant holograms and warp core malfunctions and
accidentally-traveling-back-in-time incidents? That doesn’t actually
happen to anyone else; it’s literally just Federation vessels that go off the rails like that. And they do so on a fairly regular basis.
So to everyone else in the galaxy, all humans are basically Doc Brown.
Aliens who have seen the Back to the Future movies literally don’t realise that Doc Brown is meant to be funny. They’re just like “yes, that is exactly what all human scientists are like in my experience”.
– ‘u dont have (insert food/music/restaurant here) over there??’
– ‘wait what time is it. shouldnt u be asleep’
– alternatively: timezoned/clockblocked again
– ‘do u need a hug. have a virtual hug’
– weird slang terms
– ‘i will fight everyone thats mean to u. i will fight them rn’
– vague embarrassment regarding ur accent
– ‘dont maKE ME COME OVER THERE’
– ‘oh yeah i have a friend who lives in (insert country here) and apparently’
– no real hugs :((
– suffering
– fahrenheit vs celsius
– the measuring of things in feet fucks one of u up, probably
kototyph 